Thursday, February 2, 2012
Monsters.
I've decided...
It's time for some spring cleaning; I don't want these demons anymore.
If I have to live, I want to be happy. So I'm going to work on that.
Depression is a monster that pushes you down and keeps you in the dark.
Fuck you depression! I'm going to be happy. And thin.
Is it weird that I'm choosing who stays and who's goes? Oh well. It's my head, and a battle with one is enough for me.
I'm going vegan. For realz this time.
I'm going to do it, and it's going to make me happy, healthy, and thin. Without binging, without cutting, without tears.
I've always been against harming animals to get food, when we can survive without. Except, I left eggs and butter and milk because "They weren't physically killing the animals."
Last night when I was reading up why people go vegan I read about how the animals are handled and what they have to go through to provide us with these ingredients.
I thought to myself, "How many times have I been upset living a life I don't want? How many times does this same thought run through the brain of an animal? Is it really fair to make their life even worse?"
I know it's a stupid thought to think but that's what I thought! haha
So, this is me trying to turn a new leaf. Shining my little red flashlight into the whites of Depression's piercing blue eyes. I'm getting out.
February is the month of love and god damn it, I'm going to love.
happy. healthy. thin.
That's what I want, and that's what I'll get.
I've planned my meals for each day and it averages to about 700 cal per day/week. I'll juice fast on weekends, and most of what I'll be eating isn't "bad". I know 700 cal is a lot to be okay with but I have to remember that it's still below what you're supposed to have. As long as I don't give up, I'll be skinny.
Sorry for rambling rambles of nonsense!
I'll start posting my food diary again and if anyone has any information on veganism (recipes, what I should be eating, information) please let me know!
LOVE.
Mint♥
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