Thursday, May 4, 2017

I got drunk again today because of a lot of things but my alcoholic/meth head brother is coming to stay with mom and I tonight... the one who owes me 3 grand? The one who is soooooo amazing because he works for a fake ass rehab center?

Yeah... Him.

I'm drunk. For a lot of reasons. One because I wanna see if this mother fucker can catch someone who's not fucking stupid. Someone who has the IQ of over 120. Can you catch me, bro?

Tomorrow I have a trial shift at the coffee place; 10 am-2 pm. I'm nervous... so I'll zonk myself out like before because my brother will be here when I leave... I won't be able to grab a shot.

But drugs mannnn; I love it.

I came back to this city to figure out who I am... turns out that I'm the same goddamn girl I thought I was; that's kinda cool... kinda good news.

If I can handle this job it'll be ace; I'll get money. Get a car, get rid of debt... be able to be on my own; be able to buy booze on my own... go to AB on my own...

I wanna go to AB so fucking bad. There are so many jobs at the moment over there...

I hate living with/near my family. I feel so controlled, you know??

J has a three bedroom apartment... my eye is on it to be honest. I need escape; but I need a whole shit ton, you know?

- Mint

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

I'm drunk.

I don't think I got the job that I was praying for...

I got a job at a coffee shop though... if I want it.

But I have to commit to working there until December... but I'm not good at commitment, now am I?

I went to the doctors yesterday to refill my prescription.

He was mean because I used the wrong name for one of my medications. Apparently "lexapro" doesn't exist. It DOES exist buuuuuut apparently not in his world. He was Russian or some shit... always cutting me off.

I wanted to stab that mother fucker with a goddamn popsicle stick; my eyes welled up...

My mom took over and told him what she knows of my sob story. He quieted right the fuck up.

I guess I'm stable until I'm not...

I got a referral for a psychiatrist though, FINALLY. I've been waiting a year, ever since I was taken away and promised health; I paid $3000 for nothing....

So maybe I can finally get some ativan; I want some goddamn ativan man.

I sent BB some long, drunk messages earlier this week.

This morning he told me that I was a bad girlfriend and that's why he cheated on me. He said that I'm no good. He said he's happy I'm gone because now he has a real chance at happiness.


What do you do when the only real reason you continue to breathe is gone? What do you do when you tell that person you're going away for good and they don't even try to get you to talk to someone?

You don't. Just faaaaaaaade away Mint. Just faaaaaaaade...

- Mint