When you're gone it's a weird feeling. I miss you but it's a different kind of miss.

When I miss other people it's like gahhhhh I wanna hang out with you and talk to you. But with youuuuu it's that added to a feeling of emptiness.

When you're gone it's like a chunk of me is missing. You and I together doesn't feel like two people, it just feels like one and that's just so weird.

You're everything I'm not and I'm everything I'm not, but at the same time… we're exactly the same. How does that even make sense?

You look after me so much, and I try to do the same. I feel yin and yang here. Complete opposites that balance each other out.

I miss being your teddy bear at night, and you being mine. I miss that the most, and how our breaths would synchronize.

BUT, THE DAYS WILL ROLL BY AND YOU'LL BE BACK AND THAT'LL BE GOOD.

Your phone call definitely made my day today though. That'll get me through a lot.

Today I came up with a plan in my head that hopefully will stick.

And I'm going to apply to really good places tomorrow so hopefully that works out too!

- Mint

I'm feeling trapped again.

I'm sick of people telling me what to do.

I'm sick of this town.

I'm sick of giving and not receiving squat.

I'm sick of people telling me what's best for me.

I'm sick of people expecting me to be the open book, when they're a fucking safe.

I feel trapped and I can't get out.

B WE'RE WATCHING SEX AND THE CITY WHEN YOU COME HERE CAUSE WE HAZ TALK ABOUT THIS POST RIGHT HERE.

Maybe it's about possession.

- Mint.

I'M BLOGGINGGGGGGGGG

UMMMM HI.

I lost like two weeks of my life to Skins and I'm not even sorry it's amazing.

Also, I was missing that guy a shit ton (let's change his name to BB instead of Dick because of recent events) so I made my brother bring me out to the bar this one Friday and I didn't see him. SO I made my brother bring me out again on Saturday and I still didn't see him so I knew something was up.

I was pissed because the bitch that's now living in my apartment told me that she heard he was dating someone else. I was like really? That fast? After we made everything all better? You turn around and fucking date someone else? I was going insane cause it's like, I COULDN'T EVEN TALK TO HIM I HAD NO IDEA WHERE HE WAS LIKE HI COME BACK THIS ISN'T OVER FUCK YOU BUDDY.

BUT THEN, I found out that he was in fucking jail. I was like OHHHHHHHH THIS MAKES SO MUCH MORE SENSEEEEEEEEE.

But then I was like kay, how long will he be in there? How do I get him out? Is he in town here?

Fuck I missed him so much. I couldn't fall asleep at all. AND THEN BOOM! He messaged me on fb and told me all about it. He was getting out the next day but didn't have anywhere to go because his brother just jumped ship. And he couldn't just go back to our town because of all the beef.

He asked if he could stay in my apartment in Ktown for a few days and I was like, well I'm not gonna let you stay on the streets so yeah.

We had a big conversation about us and decided that we'd see how it goes when I get down there; because I was gonna meet him down there anyway.

ANYWAY LONG STORY SHORT GOT THERE ON A THURSDAY WHICH IS LEVEL NIGHT, WE GOT BACK TOGETHER LIKE INSTANTLY BASICALLY. UMMM ME AND THAT BITCH WENT OUT. SHE GOT ME FUCKING TRASHED. I HAD NO PHONE. NO MONEY. NO KEYS. AND I LOST HER. BUT FOUND HER COUSIN THAT LIVES IN OUR BUILDING SO HE SAID HE'D PAY FOR A CAB FOR US. THAT WAS MY ONLY OPTION.

IN THE CAB HE STARTED GETTING REAL CREEPY. AND THEN HE WAS LIKE COME IN FOR A DRINK. AND I WAS LIKE OH, JUST LET ME GET MY VODKA UPSTAIRS. AND HE WAS LIKE I HAVE VODKA. JUST ONE DRINK, COME ON, I'M NOT A BAD GUY. SO I WAS LIKE FINE.

WE GET IN THERE, AND HE BASICALLY ATTACKS ME. I'M LIKE PINNED UP AGAINST THE KITCHEN CABINETS AND HE'S LIKE FORCING HIS TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I KEEP TRYING TO GO AND HE LIKE LIFTS ME UP AND THROWS ME ONTO THE COUCH AND I'M LIKE WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT. LET ME GET MY VODKA I'LL BE BACK I PROMISE.

I run upstairs crying and knock on the apartment door. BB answers and is pissed. I guess the bitch's cousin already told her that him and I "made out" and she told BB. He was so pissed. But I eventually got him to believe me and all was good.

UNTIL THE BITCH CAME THE NEXT DAY SAYING SHE HAD VIDEOS OF ME DANCING REALLY SLUTTILY. LIKE WTF BITCH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

Anyway, BB got mad at that too, he obviously doesn't want to hear that whether it's true or not. Butttttt eventually got over it WHEN WE WENT TO THE BEACHHHHHH

I WENT TO THE BEACHHHHH I WENT SWIMMINGGGGGG AND IT WAS FUNNNNN

The real drama started when the bitch wanted us out. It was this huge ordeal and everyone was yelling at me and I got really stressed and trapped feeling and overwhelmed so I decided to cut. And guess who decided to come peak on me in the bathroom? Fucking BB.

I've never seen him so mad omgggg. He took my razor and fucking threw it over the balcony. He hid anything else that was sharp and looked in my bathroom to see if I had anything else.

He phoned my mom and told her and yeah. He was mad. After he cooled down a bit he told me that his mom had self-harmed before and he really didn't want to see me doing that again. He said that I could talk to him about anything, and if there was stuff I couldn't talk about but needed to talk about, I'd need to get someone to help.

Idk, it was all overdone but whatever.

Let's skip to the other night now because I don't know what else to write lolol

BB and I got drunk while playing video games AND I WHIPPED HIS ASS IN FUCKING SUPER SMASH BROS ANDDDD MARIO KART. HAHAHAHA I OWNED HIM, HE WAS BAFFLED.

Then we went to this bar and since he's the town's ex dealer, he knows everyone so we got free drinks and then had this crew lol

I don't know why but whenever we hang out with people he knows they always fucking adore me. Like, they're always telling him that he's got a really good girl, a really good one. "This girl BB, she's amazing!" It's cool lmao

Anyway, so BB is playing pool and I'm sitting at this table with one of his buddy's and talking about love and shit. When these two guys come over to talk to buddy.

Everything's cool, and I keep eyeing up BB because he gets upset if I get to friendly with other guys lmao AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN ONE OF THE GUYS JUST FUCKING SMASHES HIS BEER BOTTLE ON THE GROUND AND PUSHES OVER THE TABLE.

AND THEN A FIGHT BREAKS OUT AND SHIT WAS INTENSE LOL I WAS LIKE WTFFFF WHAT JUST HAPPENED.

Soooooo we got kicked out. Both parties, which is fair I guess.

We couldn't go to the town's main bar because BB is banned from there now since jail, so we went to the one beside. BUT GUESS WHAT. THE BITCH OF A BARTENDER SAID BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED AT THE MAIN BAR, HE CAN'T GO TO THAT ONE EITHER WHICH MAKES NO SENSE.

So he leaves, and I leave. And he's pissed, which makes me pissed, and then I drive home. Pissed, and apparently with mario kart on my mind because I was going 180 from the valley to the hill.

I turned a corner sharp and then popped my fucking tire.

We make it to my brother's girlfriend's dad's house, park, and begin walking to my place.

BB is pissed again and is like kicking shit and breaking car side mirrors lmao while he's doing that, I decide that I wanna get hit by a car. So I start walking in the middle of the road. But every time a car came I got chicken or they got chicken lol

Anyway. I made it home, somehow missed BB and decided, KAY. IMMA SLIT MY WRISTS. I'M DOIN IT. I'M DYING.

I got a paring knife and set to work. Buttttttt obviously it didn't work. I just have two big gashes on my right wrist that BB doesn't know exists because I've been wearing a big sweater ever since. Fuck I'm dumb.

After realizing that I wasn't gonna die, I was like shit, I should see where BB is. I run outside, and BOOM! There he is like half a block down the road. Weird timing lolol

Turns out he found this random party after I left and he got free tequila shots and he was like soooo done hahaha I put him into bed and when I came back from getting him water he was on the floor and wouldn't get up lmao after awhile I just left him there hahaha

AND THAT'S MY STORY THE ENDDDDDDD.

And guess whattttt BB and I have technically been together for 3 months, 4 on the day before my birthday. Time flies, it's weird.

- Mint.

Quite simply, it's when one's happiness is your happiness.

But there's so much more. It's when a person is perfect in your eyes, even the imperfections, they make them work.

You smile because they smile and then they smile because you're smiling and you just feel yourselves connecting and it's amazing.

It's when you're with them and you just need to be closer. So you get closer and no matter how close you are, it's just not close enough because your soul is craving theirs. Your soul is just aching to interlock with theirs because they're the other half to your whole.

It's the feeling of regret because you didn't meet them on the day of your birth. You hate that you've missed entire years of their life. But it's a feeling of excitement because you just can't wait for the future. A future with them.

And when they leave... you just feel empty. Something's just missing, a piece of you is missing.

I feel like the positives aren't worth it when the negatives come. And I guess this is what Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is truly about.

If you find a piece of you that you didn't even know existed, and then you lose it… damn. I'd want to erase my memories of ever finding that piece too. Because honestly, nothing else is going to fill the gap except for them.

It's awful. I hate it.

- Mint.

Queen Bee.

Yesterday and today I've just been feeling this power radiating from within.

I feel like the baddest bitch out there, I feel like mother fucking queen bee.

All the cards are in my hand and no one can get in my way. I'm on fi-yahhhh

I haven't even done anything or talked to anyone, so I have no idea why I'm feeling like this, but god fucking damn, do I ever feel prime.

Let's hope this spark stays, it's nice to feel hot.

- Mint.