Saturday, August 31, 2013

Living with a roommate is weird, like do we hang out all the time? I have nooo idea

Hi!!

Sorry that I having been updating these last few days!

I'm all moved into my place here in Kelowna and my mom finally left today!

I met my roomie and she seems pretty nice and easy to talk to! She's not fake so it's really good but yeah, the most important thing is that she's nice and easy to talk to!

I got my heels and E.E Cummings book that I wanted so that's good and today I was buying jeggings at this amazing store that I found yesterday (I bought a whole bunch of clothes but forgot to buy pants so I had to go back today) and I was joking with the girls at the front saying that I should just work there because I have all of their clothes.

Turns out I was talking to the manager and assistant manager and they asked if I was interested in a job there! I said yes very much so, they asked my about my availability, I said basically whenever because I don't even have any classes on campus, and they said well come on in this Tuesday and we'll have an interview when there's more time!

AHHHHHHHHHHH

I GOT AN INTERVIEW AT AN AWESOME COOL STORE, A STORE WHERE I COULD BUY CLOTHES AND MAKE FRIENDS WITH THE REALLY NICE PEOPLE!!

That's super exciting! So on Tuesday I have to look super cool and fashionable and act super nice and perky. I can do thaaaaaaat! :)

Also, I realized that this year, since I'm not on res, I HAVE COMPLETE CONTROL OVER EVERYTHING. I have my car and my apartment and can do whatever, whenever I want! I can eat what I want and no one will force anything upon me.

I can choose to spend virtually no money on food and I can save save save to come home more often!

I think working at this place will be awesome too because I'm pretty sure the manager would want me working weekday afternoons since the staff she has already are pretty busy on weekdays with school. Which is awesome because weekends offffff!!! ^.^

Hopefully everything stays going this well.

- Mint.

Friday, August 23, 2013

Lost thyme and burnt mint.

The other day I figured out which classes I'd need to take this year in order to get a minor in creative writing, and then built a schedule that would hold all of those courses.

On this journey of schedule building I learnt that all of the upper-level courses were full, and that to even be considered entrance into those classes you needed to have entered a portfolio... before May 1st.

UGHHHHHH.

I ignored the full classes and portfolio requirement and finished creating my schedule. I then emailed my creative writing teacher from my first year of uni and wrote an incredibly long email, begging to be let into the courses. I told him that this was really my last chance and that I could send him some of my written work to form some sort of portfolio.

Two days later I get a one-lined reply, saying that teachers have no control over this and to ask an advisor.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

THEY'RE ALWAYS SAYING THAT IF A CLASS IS FULL, ASK THE FUCKING TEACHER TO SEE IF THEY'D HAVE THE HEART TO ALLOW YOU IN.

BUT WHENEVER YOU ASK, THEY SAY THAT IT'S NOT UP TO THEM.

School is worse than society, oh my fucking god.

So creative writing is a no go. So French it is? If I can somehow get everything passed and accomplished?

I tried to see how I did on that final but there aren't any marks up so I have no idea how that went.

I also checked to see how I did on bio-psych and I failed. By 7 percent. If I had just completed the last fucking assignment I would've passed.

God damn it.

So I'm in so fucking deep. I'm wasting so much money and it isn't even mine to waste.

I feel so guilty, and hopeless.

I also got 2 speeding tickets from July for a total of $202 dollars. I wonder how many I got in August.

I'm so fucking broke...

What am I going to do, what am I going to do?

Everything has finally caught up with me. It's taken me 5 solid years of burning and crashing, 5 solid years of ignoring and running... and I've finally done it.

I've destroyed myself completely; the only remains are rubble and ash.

And now I don't know what to do.

- Mint.

I just wrote this in my journal but now I'm typing it here for reinforcement.

Tomorrow, well... later today technically (it's 2 in the morning right now) I'm going to:

  1. get killer heels and clothes for Kelowna
  2. drop off thrift store things/throw out garbage from my closet clean out
  3. finish cognitive

I will also remind myself to be strong.

Kelowna will be fine and you'll make it your bitch. You can do this!!

You are a bad ass bitch with a lion heart.

Happy people will not bother you. Happy-go-lucky people will not bother you.

No one matters but you and whomever you choose to matter.

You will make friends, and you will be happy.

You will also stay in touch with your current friends and you will be fine.

You will be independent and free! No one will matter, it's okay.

Everything will be okay.

  • Make friends with your roomie!
  • Make friends with whoever you want to talk to
      • don't talk to girls, they're dumb and cliquey.
  • Get a job, be fabulous at it, save save save!
  • Be a bad bitch

Mint! You will be fine, you've got this!

You've got this!!

The world is your stage, so put on your sunglasses, your heels, your Lana Del Rey record, and be a bad bitch.

You're a lion heart; shine.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

I need to run.

Usually when I feel the world comes crashing down around me, my first instinct is to hide.

Try to make time stand still, try to make the world go away, and to try to disappear.

I didn't realize that my current world was chaotic until just right now.

If I stop for just a moment, I can feel spastic energy coming near; a tornado right on my heels.

I'm enrolled in no classes right now. I leave for Kelowna in 5 days. I haven't started packing. I haven't done any school. My mom doesn't know that I've failed one of my previous French courses, probably failed my newest course, and probably failed my bio-psych course (I'm too scared to check).

Every little thing in my life is up in the air. I have no idea what's going on.

But I'm handling it differently and that's odd.

Instead of hiding, I just want to leave. Even if I'm just driving around town. As long as the wheels are moving, I'm safe; I can breathe.

I need to go somewhere, everywhere, anywhere.

I need to just fucking run.

To be nonstop; just go, go, go, go, go...

I need to get out.

- Mint.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

To destroy is always the first step in any creation.

Things I've decided that I need before I'm left alone in Kelowna:

  • Everyday heels and or summertime heels (I wore my boots a lot when I was in the city with Pumpkin and I feel so dopey walking around in flat shoes now)
  • A book of E. E. Cummings' poems

So I've got options for my current dilemma; apparently one's life never ends when one thinks it will.

I've emailed the psychology faculty of my school basically begging to allow me into any of the psych courses available. I also remembered that the main campus of my school in Vancouver offers distance courses which may or may not count as taking courses on my actual campus.

My last and final option is that I take this year to switch my minor to creative writing and just take 5 creative writing courses per semester to complete minor requirements, and then go hard with psych in my final year.

I'm actually hoping for the last option because I really reallllllly don't want to do French anymore. It takes too much constant dedication and let's be honest here, I don't have that.

A year of writing, and thought sounds like a good one. But I guess we'll just have to see.

- Mint.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Ruined my life and I'm only 20. Do I get a reward now?

My mom is suuuuuch a controlling bitch, I hate her core so fucking much.

She controls everything I fucking do. Where I live, what I do with my life, what I do during the day, what I do during the night, and even what I keep and throw out.

I figured out that I've been misunderstanding my academic advisor this entire fucking time. So instead of taking courses that will count as a bio-psych course, or a developmental course, all I'm getting credit for is upper-level courses.

Which is basically just wasting time and money because you need 30 credits of upper-level psych courses that were taken at the actual school.

Currently, in my last 2 years of getting this degree, I have 3 slots meant for psych per semester. So I have room for 12 psych courses.

Which means, that all but 2 psych courses MUST be taken at the actual fucking school.

MEANING, THAT BECAUSE EVERY FUCKING PSYCH COURSE IS FILLED, I HAVE TO DO AT LEAST ANOTHER YEAR.

MEANING THAT I'LL GRADUATE WITH THIS FUCKING DEGREE A YEAR LATE.

WHICH IS WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FUCKING AVOID SINCE MY SECOND FUCKING SEMESTER OF MY FIRST GOD DAMN YEAR.

I don't fucking get ittttttt, I've been so fucking careful with all of this shit. Talking back and forth with my academic advisor constantly, checking the requirements of my degree over and overrr, making sure I haven't missed something.

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS.

And my mom pried out of me what going on, and who gets ALLLL the fucking blame? Me.

Who isn't caring enough about my future, or trying enough to make sure I don't mess up? Me.

There's like 10 fucking days until school starts. I'm going to Kelowna for two French courses (and I don't even want to fucking minor in French anymore). WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO THERE.

WORK?

SO FUCKING GAY.

And my mom is acting like the apartment is her own personal holiday home. Like no, sorry mom, I don't want you to "pop in" all the fucking time. I have a roommate. That'd be fucking weird. BUT NOOOO, it's HER place, so she can do whatever.

RAHHHHHHHHH

I want her to die so fucking bad so that I can just be released from her fucking grasp. It's so tight, and so stressing.

But at the same time it's like, what would I do if I didn't have her? Like tomorrow, if she was gone, what the fuck would I even do.

Ughhh, balance mother. Learn some fucking balance.

Don't you think that I'm stressed about this whole fucking thing too? Stressed because the initial shock that, "fuck I've ruined my entire life somehow" but also because YOU EXIST AND ARE GOING TO TEAR A FUCKING STRIP OFF OF ME?

I walk my entire life on eggshells.

- Mint.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Long post again, sorry!! I've condensed three days, okay?

My two and a half days in Edmonton were fucking dudssss.

I think it was mostly my fault but oh well. The first was pretty good!

Pumpkin and I actually ended up driving to Edmonton on the night of my birthday. We left at about 10 at night, and got there at 1 in the morning. Pumpkin was freaked out the whole drive (we followed this guy who was going like 150 and had really good headlights- mine fucking suck), but I was so pumped. I love doing things unexpectedly. Like so fast that you don't even have time to think about it, you just go!!

Anyway, so when we woke up the next morning we went to Denny's for breakfast and then off to the mall. We basically bought nothing. I bought a pj top, a mickey mouse sweater, cute underwear, a dress that I was planning on wearing out that night, an 8 oz flask that comes with a collapsible shot glass that attaches itself to it, and a Lana Del Rey record.

BUT THEN, we went to the tattoo place just to see if we could make an appointment, and next thing you know I was walking into the room to get some inkkkk.

I was nervous of course, but I just kept making sure to breathe and it was okay! Barely even hurt! And the guy who did my tattoo was so sweet and played really good music! While I was getting my tattoo, I tried hard to make conversation so that I'd be distracted, and it worked well!

At one point I was like, "Fuck I'm suchhhh a white girl" and he was like, "Aweee, you're va-ni-llaaa, that's cute!" and I laughed and was like, "Yeah, but I try to be gangst'!!" and then he laughed and was like, "That's my girl!"

Boys are so fucking cute I want to marry them all.

Anyway, after my tattoo I was allowed to sit with Pumpkin while she got hers. Her guy listened to metal (LOOOOLLLL) and was shy, so he didn't talk much. Which must've sucked for Pumpkin because she's shy and doesn't talk much either.

She was suuuuper nervous before going in also, and when I walked into the room she was in, she didn't look happy at all lmao she said hers hurt quite a bit. So I'm really glad that I was there to try to distract her!

After, we went and had some drinks before we went back to her place to get ready for the night!

Unfortunately though, I couldn't wear the dress I got because the tights weren't dark enough to cover my scars. I wanted to cry so badly. Don't cut kids.

Pumpkin's cousin came over, as well as Pumpkin's boy's friends who are also our friends but not really. We all chatted and drank and BOOM it was time to gooo!

Pumpkin's boy (imma call him Shawn from now on okay?) was the DD for the night which was awesome because cab fare.

Once we got there I didn't see Pumpkin and Shawn for like the entire night. So I was with the other three girls for most of the night. One of them we lost like right away because some guy started dancing with her and never stopped. Pumpkin's cousin was fucking boring the entire night because she was just texting, but the other girl wouldn't let me ditch her.

The night was pretty lame because all of that. But I did find a full pack of smokes WITH a lighter, so I was set!

The night also sucked because everyone I talked to was boring, and no one wanted to dance with me. I danced with this fat dude for a little bit because he wanted someone to dance with and I wanted to dance so I was like fuck it. He wanted to make out though so I ditched; I'm not down for ugly guys.

Somehow I met up with Pumpkin and Shawn and we went out to the patio for a bit. But by that point I was too done, and when they wanted to go back inside I just stayed there.

Unfortunately, the patio only stays open until one so I had to go back inside. BUT, as soon as I got inside they were playing the Macarena, so I decided that I'd just wait outside of the bar on the curb for the last hour because, really? The Macarena? No.

In that last hour I met some interesting people. I saw a few fights, and a bunch of sluts.

This one girl was fucked because her friends ditched her and her phone died so she couldn't phone her brother for a ride. So I let her use my cell and I felt like a good person.

Then I met this guy who was sooo fucked off of tequila and he asked me about my night so I told him how crap it was, especially since it was supposed to be for my birthday. He felt so bad lol he was all, "FUCK YOUR FRIENDS, THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR NIGHT" then his friend came and sat down with us. Tequila boy explained to his friend about how crap my night was and then I had two guys going, "YOUR FRIENDS ARE JERKS THIS NIGHT IS ABOUT YOU" hahaha I thought  it was so funny.

They started playing around with accents too which made me feel so good. They really made me feel better about everything, so I appreciate it. Tequila boy even made a Dane Cook reference and I almost flipped my shit! I was so happy, no one seems to love Dane Cook or even quote him as much as B and I do haha

So when it was time to leave I gave them both hugs and thanked them sooo much, because really, they picked me up so much.

When Shawn was driving us home I was suddenly suuuuuper bitchy. I was all, "When we get home I'm fucking smoking all of these smokes, and drinking all of my alcohol, and eating the rest of that god damn pizza!" and then Shawn said something and I was like, "Watch your fucking manners boy."

When we got inside, I fucking grabbed the pizza, threw it in the microwave, got some water (because I decided I didn't want a drink I guess), got the warmish pizza, my smokes, and went outside. I bitched to Pumpkin while eating/drinking/smoking and then decided I wanted to go to bed.

I changed and got settled on the couch and waited for Pumpkin to change and turn off the lights. But suddenly I started getting really emotional and began crying. Pumpkin finished changing, turned off the lights, and started walking to her couch and I broke lol I got up and fucking bawling, I was like, "CAN I HAVE A HUG!?!?!?" She was like "Oh my god! What's wrong!?"

"I DON'T WANT TO GO TO KELOWNAAAAAAA"

"It'll be fine! Don't worry about it! It'll be so much better this time I swear!!"

"BUT EVERYONE'S LEAVING MEEEEEEEEE"

"What do you mean!? No one's leaving!!"

"YOU HAVE SHAWN AND B HAS HER GUY AND EVERYONE'S GOING TO FUCKING EUROPEEEEEE"

"Oh my god, do you want to sleep on the floor tonight so we can cuddle?"

"BUT THE FLOOR'S SCRITCHY SCRATCHYYYYYY" *bawls*

We ended up putting a blanket over the carpet before laying down. It was really weird because I don't think I've ever really cried infront of my friends, or asked for a hug, or fucking cuddled them. But I really needed it so I was glad.

The next day (the 15th) was really lame too. Pumpkin and I had to wake up to shower and everything because her building turned off the water from 8-8. So we were sooo tired the entire day. All we did really was go to Ducky's house (friend from high school) and had crépes. After crépes we all just talked until 4. Then we decided to get nachos at BPs before dropping her off at work.

Pumpkin and I went back to her place, and she FELL ASLEEP FOR THREE FUCKING HOURS. I was so bored because her place is empty and there was nothing to doooo.

When she finally woke up, we decided to go for dinner with Shawn. But Pumpkin said that she wanted to drink first. So I went hard and she drank fucking nothing. What a sly ass bitch.

During dinner I was talking a lot. Because every time I'd stop, they wouldn't fucking say anything and that's so weird and embarrassing for all of us. But before we left, when Pumpkin and I were in the bathrooms, she was like, "Dude you're talking a mile a minute. You're dominating the conversation."

"Well, if I stop talking, you guys don't say anything, soooo..."

"Yeah but still."

SO I JUST FUCKING STOPPED TALKING. And want to know what they talked about? Nothing. They didn't talk the entire car ride and didn't talk while we were in his apartment, watching a movie, driving homeeee. Nope, nothing at all really.

I didn't watch the movie because it was boring and I passed out after 5 minutes. Which is probably a good thing because I was fuminggggggg.

Today all we did really was drive home. And I listened to my Lana Del Rey record.

So that's the end of my sucky birthday week! I drunk FB'd my French guy when I was out on the curb that one night too hahaha it was so heart felt and embarrassing. Drunk Mint totally loves him it's hilarious.

Anyway, good job if you read this far! ^.^ I appreciate it!

- Mint.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

My blog turned 2 and I turned 20.

Today's my birthday and I'm officially finished my teen years.

Obviously I'm not happy right now, because I hate getting old. I've hated getting older ever since I turned six, and realized that no, you don't get to be five your whole life. You're not placed on this earth to be a five year old. That sweet time lasts only 365 days, and then you grow further and further away from what you thought would be forever.

I think that from now on, I'm going to just pretend that I'm a lost girl, like the lost boys from Peter Pan but I'm a girl, not a boy. Because in Neverland, one doesn't grow older, one only stays the same. Time is still and nothing changes.

Although I'm not happy about growing older, I am happy with the lessons I've learnt in this past journey around the sun.

This time last year I wasn't really talking to any of my friends. I was binging and starving at work, cutting during my lunch break, and was falling faster than ever. I hated myself so so so much. Walking to and from my car at work was so bad. Walking anywhere sometime near December was the worst. I couldn't look at anyone, and I'd always have the strongest urge to rip open my stomach and slash my arms until they fell off.

Of course I still have the urge to cut, and of course I cut when things get bad but things aren't as bad.

I hate how fat I am, but that'll come off this year when I'm on my own. And I'll be patient, and it I will finally reach me UGW. But the important thing to note is that right now, I'm not binging, and I'm talking to people which I think is a really important change from last year to this year.

Another big change is the realization that I actually do like people. I mean, there's a lot of people that I fucking hate with a passion, and who I wouldn't want to stop and talk to in the street, but I like meeting cool people, and going out, and talking.

I like it a lot.

And I've realized that I need people, or else I go crazy. It's odd though because when I start to isolate, it's because I feel like that's what I need! But I've learnt that when I feel like that, I need to do the complete opposite. I've also learnt that ditching out on plans is always a dumb decision, because every time I've thought about ditching, but haven't, it's always been good!

And speaking of friends, I've learnt that people are not disposable. Which is another super important lesson. You can't just get mad at someone and be like, "this is the last straw! I'm so done with this person!" because that's just not how the human heart operates. Friends actually care about you, and your existence. They want you to feel better, and they will actually try to make you feel better. When you think that you're done with a friendship or just someone from school, no, you're not. All you need is space. People that you feel comfortable with are treasures that you keep in your heart, sure they can come and go in your life, but they're never really gone. You've made memories with these people, you've shared experiences, and those will never disappear.

I've also learnt that I have amazing friends, who are so sweet and kind that I definitely don't deserve them. I've learnt that if something's wrong, they won't make fun of me for voicing my concerns, they'll help me through it. And that they care when something's wrong, and want me to feel better. I've learnt that it's not a weakness to show my vulnerabilities to them, and that it doesn't matter if they don't understand exactly what's going on in my head, they still care and will always care. I've learnt that the distance between towns and cities doesn't create distance in friendship. And that I will never truly be alone.

Another thing I've learnt this year is that people actually fucking like me. Which I still have troubles understanding. Like Pumpkin tells people about our adventures all the time and they actually remember who I am, and ask how I'm doing and what I'm up to and I just think that's weird. I felt like I was a ghost all throughout high school. There, but not really. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that whenever I go out and see people that I know, they're excited to see me! Like happy, and they sit down and talk to me, because they fucking like me? It's so weird. I also think it's weird that when I go out I can talk to people, and meet people, and they're not weirded out or anything or think I'm boring. They like talking to me and that's so fucking weird.

When I was telling B about how I was scared that her boyfriend wouldn't like me she said, "Nah I think it should be good, I mean, you're an extrovert sooo..."

And I was so shocked! I took it as the hugest compliment I've ever received. Because, in my mind anyway, I think I'm the most boring person in existence. And if B thought I was extroverted, that means that she thinks I like to go out and do things, and talk to people, and I don't know, that's how I'd like to be, and how I'd like to be viewed, so yeah. That just made me so happy, because maybe, I am an extrovert! :)

Back to the whole people liking me thing, it's not just girls who like me, it's actually boys too! I only really talk to boys when I go out and most talk to me after meeting them at the bar or wherever which means that they didn't think that I was some freak lol I really like that because boys are usually more fun then girls. The best parts about boys liking me is that some actually like-like me. Which BLOWS MY MIND. I don't really have much else to say about the subject but yeah, some like me! Some even liked me in high school and I had noooo idea. And it's not like they like me because I'll put out (which I totally would if SOMEONE WOULD FUCKING LET ME) they like me because they think I'm interesting! And funny! And know things about music and art and stuff and I think that's way better than someone saying I'm pretty or beautiful. My body and face is just a body and face, it's not really me. My personality and interests are my soul, and if people say they like me for that then I think that's amazing.

Lastly, I've learnt that I'm actually a pretty cool person. And when I put myself out there, and just be as much me as possible, good things happen, and I feel good. I've learnt that I'm a lion heart, and lions are meant to shine. So I'm trying to put my light out there, and shine everywhere I go. Sometimes it's hard, and sometimes it's scary, but it's okay because I'm working on that. I've learnt that I shouldn't worry about all the people around me, because there's no reason to be wary of them. They don't matter.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

So, my main goal for this year and for Kelowna is to hit everything hard, and to really realllllly try to shine. I'm going to own that city, and own that campus. I'm a leo for god's sake, if I want to be on top, I'll be on top, because I'll work for it, and I'll deserve it. I'll be the queen of this jungle.

I'm going to meet people, and go out, and make memories. I'm going to save my money, and I'm going to come home as much as possible. I'll see B, and I'll see Pumpkin, and maybe other people in between. For spring break I'll finally make it to my ocean, and hit up the coast for a week. Next summer I'll live with Pumpkin in Edmonton and I'll visit B multiple times. Maybe I'll road trip to Oregon because for some reason it's captured my heart, and needs me to visit. The summer after I'm going to Disney Land with Pumpkin and I'll buy fairy wings and meet Alice! And Tink! And Peter! And Hatter! Maybe I'll go to France one day and spend a few weeks with my Mister Frenchfry. Maybe I'll go see him in Australia this winter, and spend New Year's with him.

The world is full of possibilities, and opportunities for travel. And if you really want something, you can make it happen. Go for it, write your own story, choose what you want to happen. Live life, don't fear it. Because I've seen that there are reasons to keep going, and people who want you to keep going, and people who you will meet that will be glad that you kept going.

I'm not going to tell you that "it gets better" because how do I really know that? I'm just saying that not everything your head tells you is true. Your mind likes to twist things, and distort reality. You're truly your own worst enemy.

The thing to take from this is to be yourself, and to love. If you love, you will be loved. It's as simple as that.

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

Live in the moment, take the good with the bad. Learn to accept who you are, learn what you need and what you don't need. Learn that life is beautiful, but death is just as beautiful. Learn that you don't always have to be sad, but that you don't always have to be happy either.

Learn that some people care, but others do not. And that's okay!

In these past 365 days my heart has been thawed; and there is warmth.


♥,

Mint.

Monday, August 12, 2013

I wonder how much money I spent yesterday.

So yesterday was good and bad I guess.

The people at Subway messed up B's and me's (rhyme time looool) 9 ft. GIANT sub. I don't even know how to explain how they fucked it up, but everything was fucked. But in the end we got basically our 9 ft. of sub, for only $40 because they dun goofed so much (it was supposed to cost $120) and a bunch of free cookies! So I guess that's a bargain bitch.

B and I finally finished with that whole ordeal, got some rockstar vodkas and were on our way to Jasper! And it was a really beautiful drive, and it went so fast!! Usually the drive to Jasper seems to take foreverrrrrr.

Once we got there we walked around for a little bit, got a drink at this bar, went to this fucking weird ass museum that B loves (it's a museum of dead animals that have been stuffed lmao it's like the length of a reaally short hallway and she loves it hahaha), then rode in a horse and carriage because B wanted to pet it and she was so fucking happy lol it was adorable. And then when we finished our ride B and I were petting the horse (it hated us) and then it just starts FUCKING PEEING AND WE GOT PEE SPLASHES ON OUR FEET AND THAT'S NOT COOL HORSE WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT I MEAN C'MON THAT'S FUCKING RUDE.

After that, we went to the liquor store because B wanted some twisted teas and then went back to her car to drink and wait for her BOYFRIEND TO COME CHILL WITH US. I was so excited omg. They've been dating for a year and I haven't even met the guy! I was super nervous too though because I'm pretty annoying and weird and I didn't want him to hate me because then that makes things awkward lol.

But he came over, and he was nice and I tried not being too weird but it definitely didn't work and I just eventually gave up after two seconds.

After we finished what we were drinking we all went to this brew place where they take like half an hour to make a drink lol

B and I had these drinks called "Ninja Poison" and they were basically a bunch of flavoured vodkas (3 oz.) mixed with cranberry juice and other stuff and it was amazing. I had two of them while we were there, and we also all shared this platter of beer samples and they all tasted like beer lol I don't like beer.

B's boyfriend saw some friends there and they sat with us and they were hippies basically and I was like woah I wish I could be a hippy but then I remembered that I like showers so I was fine.

ANYWAY, after that weeeeee, ummmmmm. Fuck I don't even remember leaving that place. We eventually left, and went back back to B's car and then her boyfriend eventually left too because he went to go meet up with another friend. What I remember next is accidentally meeting up with Pumpkin at the bathrooms and then all of a sudden we were getting ready to go out!

We went to Earl's to try to (unsuccessfully) get Pumpkin drunk and to get SPINACH AND ARTICHOKE DIP AND IT WAS GOOD AND THE BREAD WAS GOOD AND B AND I PRETENDED THAT WE WERE LADY AND THE TRAMP WITH THE SPAGHETTI AT ONE POINT AND WE SHARED THE BREAD AND IT WAS OH SO ROMANTIC.

But then things happened and B felt sick, and Pumpkin was being boring. B and her boyfriend (he met up with us again at Earl's) eventually went off for a walk to see if she'd feel better, and Pumpkin and I went to the bar.

Let's just say that the bar was not bumpin', and there were no sexy boys there (French boy couldn't come and the other guy ended up having to go to work a day earlier :/ ). We left at 2, B's boy drove home, and then B and I slept in her car, AND IT WAS AN ACTUAL AMAZINGLY COMFY SEAT LIKE I WAS SO SURPRISED.

But yeah! That was basically my night! It was sooooo nice seeing B again! FUCKING MISSED YOU BITCH. And hopefully I'll be able to go visit her before I go back to school in September! And it was nice meeting her guy too. They're fucking adorable together, and I love it, and I 281948390184901784276578% approve of their love lol

Tomorrow night Pumpkin and I might go to Edmonton (a night earlier than planned) but only if my French guy can meet us there lol I'M NOT GIVING UP ON THIS. It's so stupid because it's like "wow, where would this even go?" but I don't care. I like him and he's nice and cute and I want to see him. So hopefully tomorrow works out!

- Mint.

Friday, August 9, 2013

Post about nothing (III)

LOL JOKES, GOT DAY DRUNK WITH MY BROTHER

IMMA GO OUT WITH HIM TOMORROW

AND THEN ON TUESDAY FOR MY ACTUAL BIRTHDAY

TIME TO LET MY BROTHER LEARN WHO I AMMMMMM

OBVIOUSLY A BAD DECISION, OH WELLLLLLL

Post about nothing. (II)

So I did my French final today.

I bullshitted my way through it.

What's that? How does one bullshit their way through a language final?

THEY DONT.

Ugh, it was so bad. I tried to put an answer for everything so that I'd get at least part marks (maybe).

SO HOPEFULLY I PASSED BECAUSE IF I DIDN'T PASS THE FINAL, I FAIL THE COURSE.

I decided not to get drunk today because I'm fat and realized that once Sunday comes 'round, it's food city for a week. So I'll be extra good these next two days and then hopefully it won't be so so bad.

I WISH I HAD SOME FRIENDS THAT WERE IN TOWN RIGHT NOW.

BECAUSE IT'S BEEN A WEEK SINCE I'VE SEEN ANYONE AND I'M GETTING SO DEPRESSED.

It's amazing how fast it happens, and how I can actually feel it to! Kelowna's going to be so bad I just know it.

AND OOOOOOMG PUMPKIN. She asked about how my French final went and I told her and she was like, "I doubt that!"

"lol you can't bullshit a language pumpkin"

"Sure you can. I did it in grade 9 lol"

"how? if they ask you to translate something and you don't know the vocal thennnnnn? or when they ask you to fill in the blanks with something about a subjunctive and you're like the fuck is a subjunctive? BECAUSE ENGLISH DOESN'T EVEN FUCKING HAVE THAT or when it's like complete the sentence! and you're like I have no fucking idea what the first part is even saying HOW THE FUCK DO YOU BULLSHIT THAT"

"Haha idk but somehow I passed which was awesome"

THIS ISN'T FUCKING GRADE 9 YOU DUMB ASS.

Sometimes I really want to stab my friends in the face.

Fuuuuuck.

- Mint

EDIT: Hey I forgot to mention! When I was walking into the building where I wrote my test a saw a little bat just chilling on the side of the building! ISN'T THAT COOL!? I've never seen that before! I thought it was cool :3

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Post about nothing.

Today's final was fucking easy.

Tomorrow's will fucking suck.

I don't even understand what this French course is trying to teach meeeeeeee.

But one good thing about tomorrow is that I get to get drunk by myselffffffffff wooooooooo.

I have nothing else to say really.

I WISH I DID.

I'm so fucking bored. I should study but my head doesn't want toooooooo

- Mint.

The ghosts that we knew made us, black and all blue.

Last night I stayed up until 3 in the morning listening to "I Will Follow You Into The Dark" by Death Cab For Cutie, and "The Scientist" by Coldplay on repeat.

I didn't study for my bio-psych at all, and I only read 3 out of the 7 chapters I was being tested on.

But in that moment, I really didn't care. Sometimes I need music, you know? If I don't have enough time to sing or listen to my favourite songs it's like a music debt builds up, and eventually I need to just sing for an entire day to catch up. Sometimes two.

So I went to sleep at 3, woke up late at 8, then got ready, and went to write my exam.

It wasn't the best, but it wasn't the worst. And again, I don't really care.

After that I went to my mom's office and sat there until it was time to go home. I should've been studying for my adolescence development final that I have tomorrow morning, or my French final that's the day after.

But I don't really care.

With all of the back to school commercial's running, it's hard not to remember the fact that in a few short weeks I will have to make my journey back to hell. For good.

Everything's ending, and everyone's leaving.

Why couldn't I have been raised in a city? Where everyone stays after high school? Or if you're the odd person who wants to move across the country, your friends do too?

Another thing, I think my mind has fallen in love with the French boy. It's hilarious because there's really no reason as to why my head has done this, other than the fact that it likes to daydream a lot and he is currently the main character.

It's even more hilarious that my mind has already become heartbroken because it knows that after Thursday the possibilities of ever seeing him again are in the negative.

This is ridiculous. Why do I build people up in my head? Why do I force attachments that aren't real?

It's stupid and embarrassing, just stop.

- Mint.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

OMGGGG

SO SOMETHING JUST HAPPENED AND I NEED TO BLOG ABOUT IT.

Remember that guy who I had my first kiss with? Well he doesn't have fb so I was trying to get his number because I'm not the kind of person to let a cute guy just walk away!

Anyway, my friend thought she had his number, but when she texted it she didn't get a response, but I texted it anyway just incase!

No response.

UNTIL TODAAAAAY! And it's totally him, and he totally remembers me, and he totally JUST ASKED ME OUT.

And because I listen to my friends and have no morals, I SORT OF INVITED HIM OUT ON SUNDAY WHEN B AND I GO OUT.

WHICH IS THE SAME NIGHT THAT FRENCH BOY IS TRYING TO GET OFF SO HE CAN SEE ME.

WHOOPS.

I think I've just entered a romantic comedy.

- Mint.

P.S HE'S A LEO GUYS

Day 1 of finals, COMPLETE!

I'm so fucking lucky it's insaneeeee.

After my last post I decided to just go to bed because I was just too sad and didn't want to do anything.

My original plan was to sleep until 4, and then to wake up and continue working on my French course until my final at 9.

INSTEAD, I slept until 8 and basically got no studying done.

But want to know what happened when I got down there!? Turns out that you have 10 days to write your exam from the date it was originally booked! So I've decided to write my French final later.

And the test I was supposed to write yesterday but couldn't? The lady who I called to book my final forgot that they were closed yesterday SO IT WASN'T MY FAULT.

I ended up writing that final today and it was 50 multiple choice, with 5 long answer questions that were 5 marks each.

Multiple choice was fucking easy peasy! But when I looked at the long answers, I only knew the answers to two of the questions. The other three I had no idea whatsoever what they were even talking about really. Down 15 points :(

I was going to leave them blank but I just didn't want to admit defeat! So I just started bullshitting all of the answers when I started realizing that my answers were right actually!

It's like, as soon as I started writing, the answers all popped into my head!

After the final I checked in my text book to make sure that I was right and BOOOM I SO WAS WITH EVERY SINGLE ONE.

That shit doesn't just happen to people! It was awesome!

Lucky lucky lucky duck~! ♥

- Mint
Today I was supposed to have my first final for the week but when I went down there this morning the place was closed...?

So what does that mean? Does it mean that no, my exam was actually scheduled for last Friday? Does it mean that the lady messed up and allowed me to book a final on a day where the facility was closed? Does it mean that I have to write two exams tomorrow? Or that I completely missed my cognitive psych final? Or that I was accidentally a day early?

I have no idea.

So tomorrow morning I guess there will be a surprise waiting for me at the place.

It sucks because I was sooo ready for my final! I actually studied a bit last night, 2-4:30 in the morning, and then I woke up at 6 and studied until 8:30 when I had to get ready and go down there.

And now another day has gone by and suddenly I'm depressed feeling and all my motivation from this morning is gone.

Today I completed 3/5 of my entire French course though! I stopped after I got mopey so I still have some left to do before I go to sleep (it's currently midnight).

Also, my French boy might not be able to come see me this Sunday because he works Monday and might not be able to get it off. ANDDD he works both days I'm in the city too so it's like ARGGG

WHY IS MY LUCK GOING DOWNHILL SO FAST?

THIS IS ALL SO TERRIBLE COMPARED TO HOW WELL EVERYTHING WAS GOING BEFORE

Mom also fed me gingerbread cookies this weekend and because I'm tearing apart at the seams I ate them, sooooo many. Grrrrrrrrrrrrreat.

FatFatFat

- Mint.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

"I don't want to own anything until I find a place where me and things go together."



I just realized that, soon, I'm going to have to pack up my life once again.

School starts on the 3rd, I just checked.

How early should I be back in Kelowna? A week before school starts? A day?

I'd prefer a day.

Actually, I'd prefer to show up a day late...

But here's my quandary for the moment: I want to take with me to Kelowna as little as possible. I want the least amount of things to my name.

Like Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany's. All I want to take with me are the essentials. Clothes, toiletries, electronics, teddy bear, journals, special little figurines, alcohol, art.

But then again, that's all I really have here.

And that seems like a lot.

Ahhh, the problem so many of us face. Everything being too much. Even nothing seems to be too much sometimes.

I guess the real task is to get rid of the meaningless space fillers...

And that's the thing too! It's easy to say that I can take some things and leave others, but in reality, my mom is selling her business.

YES B, MY MOM HAS HAD HER BUSINESS UP FOR SALE FOR ABOUT A YEAR NOW, AND SHE'S FINALLY ACCEPTED AN OFFER. SHE'S BUSINESSLESS ON DECEMBER 1ST.

So, when the business is gone, she will be gone as well. She's going to move to Kelowna. Which makes sense but god, it's so unstable. How long will I even be in Kelowna? Will she make me feel bad for "leaving her"? Undoubtably.

Anyway, if she's moving anyway, shouldn't I just go through all of my shit now?

Getting rid of things is easy for me, I never remember anything I get rid of. It's just that whenever my mom makes comments like, "wow, you're getting rid of all of that?" or "what's in there? Let me see what you're getting rid of." it makes me feel guilty.

And it shouldn't make me feel guilty! It's not her things, and in all honesty, it is just things.

I don't throw away special things, I'm not stupid.

Anyway, I guess I just needed to write that out to organize my thoughts, sorry, crap post as usuallll! All of my posts are just streams of consciousness and I apologize for that.

My finals start tomorrow and I haven't one of my courses I haven't even started! BYEEEE! ^.^

- Mint.

Friday, August 2, 2013

Le garçon français.

So I actually did weigh myself yesterday! I was the exact same weight as before T_T but then I weighed myself this morning and I was down a poundddd!

Except I ate a lot today, but not anything unsafe. Just more than I was expecting.

THE MAIN PURPOSE OF THIS POST IS TO TALK ABOUT MY FRENCH BOY.

He's coming to see me on the 11th because I invited him to go out to the bar that B and I are going to, to celebrate my birthday! (oddly long sentence)

Want to know how far of a drive that is for him? FIVE FUCKING HOURS.

A FRENCH BOY IS DRIVING FIVE FUCKING HOURS FOR A BOOTY CALL.

MY BOOTY CALL.

WUT.

I'm so going to get laid before I leave my teen years! Woo, goals achieved!

Also, he might try to come see me sometime in September/October before he leaves to go explore Australia for a year. But he was like, "If I can't make it to Kelowna to see you before I leave, you should come visit me in Australia" LOL

I don't know the point of telling you any of this really, I just like to gush. 

Oh my god, just imagine if I end up in a relationship with someone, my blog will be so gushy all the time. SORRY BUT BOYS ARE TOO YUM OKAY?

- Mint.