Usually when I feel the world comes crashing down around me, my first instinct is to hide.
Try to make time stand still, try to make the world go away, and to try to disappear.
I didn't realize that my current world was chaotic until just right now.
If I stop for just a moment, I can feel spastic energy coming near; a tornado right on my heels.
I'm enrolled in no classes right now. I leave for Kelowna in 5 days. I haven't started packing. I haven't done any school. My mom doesn't know that I've failed one of my previous French courses, probably failed my newest course, and probably failed my bio-psych course (I'm too scared to check).
Every little thing in my life is up in the air. I have no idea what's going on.
But I'm handling it differently and that's odd.
Instead of hiding, I just want to leave. Even if I'm just driving around town. As long as the wheels are moving, I'm safe; I can breathe.
I need to go somewhere, everywhere, anywhere.
I need to just fucking run.
To be nonstop; just go, go, go, go, go...
I need to get out.
- Mint.
I know that feeling soooooo well. Torn between an urge to hide away and simultaneously run far far away. But I can't hide from myself or outrun myself, so I settle for destroying myself, which is something I can do!!! Love you sweetie, hope you muster up the courage to check the course pass list and that if it isn't good news you can find some strength to power throu xxxx
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