Lost thyme and burnt mint.

The other day I figured out which classes I'd need to take this year in order to get a minor in creative writing, and then built a schedule that would hold all of those courses.

On this journey of schedule building I learnt that all of the upper-level courses were full, and that to even be considered entrance into those classes you needed to have entered a portfolio... before May 1st.

UGHHHHHH.

I ignored the full classes and portfolio requirement and finished creating my schedule. I then emailed my creative writing teacher from my first year of uni and wrote an incredibly long email, begging to be let into the courses. I told him that this was really my last chance and that I could send him some of my written work to form some sort of portfolio.

Two days later I get a one-lined reply, saying that teachers have no control over this and to ask an advisor.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

THEY'RE ALWAYS SAYING THAT IF A CLASS IS FULL, ASK THE FUCKING TEACHER TO SEE IF THEY'D HAVE THE HEART TO ALLOW YOU IN.

BUT WHENEVER YOU ASK, THEY SAY THAT IT'S NOT UP TO THEM.

School is worse than society, oh my fucking god.

So creative writing is a no go. So French it is? If I can somehow get everything passed and accomplished?

I tried to see how I did on that final but there aren't any marks up so I have no idea how that went.

I also checked to see how I did on bio-psych and I failed. By 7 percent. If I had just completed the last fucking assignment I would've passed.

God damn it.

So I'm in so fucking deep. I'm wasting so much money and it isn't even mine to waste.

I feel so guilty, and hopeless.

I also got 2 speeding tickets from July for a total of $202 dollars. I wonder how many I got in August.

I'm so fucking broke...

What am I going to do, what am I going to do?

Everything has finally caught up with me. It's taken me 5 solid years of burning and crashing, 5 solid years of ignoring and running... and I've finally done it.

I've destroyed myself completely; the only remains are rubble and ash.

And now I don't know what to do.

- Mint.