It's because of my new medication, duh.
I keep either having like 3 hour sleeps or no sleep at all. Today has been a 3 hour one; I woke up at 3.
Obviously this isn't the post I promised but give me a break.
At the moment I'm staying at BB's uncle's place because his grandma just died. We've been here since Saturday and we were only expecting to be here for one sleep so we didn't bring any clothes with us. That means I've been wearing the same outfit for like 4 days now I suppose... Oh and guess what! I have my third and final interview at that store today! Hope the CEO, marketing team, and merchandising team like my look ;) LOL
Thank god this outfit is respectful and like normal as opposed to some of my RISKAY outfits.
I wish I could shower though... like, I COULD shower but I'm weird and uncomfortable showering in other people's houses.
I'm uncomfortable with like everything though and it's getting worse. I always feel like everyone's watching me and judging me and making fun of me. I also feel like everyone hates me and I'm afraid of literally everything.
It's been getting worse over the past couple months so maybe my old medication actually did work for social anxiety? Or maybe it's because I literally never leave my house.
BB's been really good about making me comfortable and just looking out for me in general though. Sometimes he'll like walk me to the washroom if I don't know where it is in a restaurant or like he makes sure that I'm sitting and comfortable before he goes and does whatever when we're in public.
I feel like such a baby but whatever. At least this gets me out of the house.
Speaking of baby I think my period's late and I'm freaking the fuck out about it. I haven't been on birth control for the past 2 months because I have negative 9 dollars, so I'm freaking out even more.
BB keeps telling everyone I'm pregnant and it's so weird and uncomfortable to hear, "Mint's pregnant". And with him saying that I feel like he's jinxing me!!
I've never wanted kids in my entire life and he's all about the baby's. So like what happens if I am? He'd want me to keep it but that's just not going to happen lol we have no money, we're too young, AND I DONT WANT ONE
LIKE HELLO GOD ARE YOU THERE? CAN YOU JUST MAKE MY VAGINA BLEED PLEASE? I'D SUPER APPRECIATE THAT THANKS
LOVE YA JEEZUS
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAN
I think I'll wrap this post up here for now, that's basically everything I wanted to say.
LOVE YA JEEZUS,
Mint.
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