More zodiac shit; sorry not sorry.

Okay.

I feel like ever since the, "this is why I'm a bad person" post I've been trying to like... re-explain myself. Trying to make what I had said seem different than how it was presented.

But now I'm thinking that I'm more developing the original ideas.

See, originally I was thinking that my need for attention, drama, and impulsivity was due to a mental illness, ie. BPD.

BUT, nowwww I'm thinking that's more of just who I am. Which makes sense because personality disorders are disorders to do with your personality; duh. I'm going even further with it though.

I'm talkin' sun signs people!

If you know me in person or have read my blog for awhile, you know that I'm alllll about that zodiac. Yes, it's not always accurate; yes, it's not scientific; but for me, in my life, the people I meet usually tend to fit their role.

I'm not going to try to convince you all about my beliefs with it (shoutout to the conversation I had with B's boyfriend about zodiac signs that lasted for what seemed to be FOREVER), but I am going to state my most recent thoughts.

I AM A LEO.

Hello! Yes, it is very nice to meet me.

If you read like any write-up about leos you'll read that we are insanely dramatic, passionate, and impulsive.

We attract attention wherever we go, and we love it. All the world's a stage and we're in the centre of it.

We're the most generous out of all the signs, and our excited energy is absorbed by everyone around us; we're a real fucking treat to be around, you're welcome.

Because of the previously listed attributes, we exude passion. With a fiery energy such as this, intuition and impulsivity come naturally.

So this is what I'm getting at. I think I'm not insane. I think that the people around me just don't know what the fuck I am. And because of this, I'm feeling like I'm being suffocated which is resulting in a very sporadic, frantic, and intense energy.

Lately, out of nowhere, I'll get incredibly anxious feeling. A type of anxiety that I've never really had before. It feels like I need to run, or produce something right away. I think it's my body's way of releasing this pent up "leo energy", since I'm repressing it so much.

EVERYONE IS TELLING ME THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME, THAT I'M NOT NORMAL, THAT I'M THINKING INCORRECTLY...

After awhile of person after person saying the same thing, it sort of puts a toll on a girl. It makes me start to believe that what they're saying is true.

Yet no one knows how to "fix" me.

I think I can't be fixed because I'm not broken.

We all know that if I'm feeling confident with my everyday life, if I'm producing work I'm generally passionate about, I'm not anxious or depressed at all.

So what I think is that I need to stop listening to everyone because they're wrong. I think I need to see a fucking psychic LOL

Because, I have all this frustrated leo energy in me that's not being channeled properly. Maybe they can look inside their crystal ball and tell me what's up. Tell me which path to pursue.

That's the real problem actually, I don't know what the fuck I want in life, so everything to me seems pointless. I read too that the leo is all about "identity". So until I find out who I am, I won't be able to progress. My last therapist told me that actually, probably the only good advice I got from her hahaha

I need to figure stop trying to please people. I need to accept myself and own it.

So yeah...

Those are my "today" thoughts.

I think that's why I'm craving getting into trouble; leo angst. I want to cause a scene, do stupid random shit, and do it without remorse.

Yup, I'm an adolescent lion.

- Mint.