The story about the wings.

Okay,

back to changing up what I was saying hahaha

I think that for the MOST part, I'm not insane. But with the whole manipulation weird evil shit I got goin', that's definitely not a "leo" thing. That's just an evil insane person thing.

So yeah, I'm sick in the head but not as much as other people think I am.


That's all I really have to say for this post so let me use this as an opportunity to tell you a story I think I forgot to mention about this previous Wednesday night out...

So it's Wednesday, wing Wednesday in college town party place western Canada. My smart, not so intense friend, A, invites me out for wings and I obviously say yes. Because, since breaking my 10 year vegetarian diet, wings and hotdogs are the only meat I enjoy LOL

I say yes ALSO because the place we normally go to has Caesars on special and I've just discovered that I AM OBSESSED WITH THEM.

She asks, and I agree.

THEN, ohhhh ho ho, THEN she asks if she can bring her friend J along.

Since I've already said yes I have to allow it or else I'm a bitch LOL obviously. So I say it's fine and get ready to go.

I should mention that I actually know J. She was pledging in the sorority when I was and actually ended up as pledge princess hahaha I didn't really hang out with her much because she's quiet and super innocent and that's just not my jam.

ALSO, when I met her she was full-fledged anorexic; diagnosed and everything. She had never even had a period before in her life. Obviously I disliked her because she was skinnier than me but whatever, it didn't matter because I dropped out of school after a couple months meaning I also dropped out of the sorority. After that I only ever saw J at like one tiny party that A had.

TWO YEARS LATER, J is in recovery. She was also put on hormones recently and has had 2 periods; welcome to woman-hood J.

She's also obviously gained weight, a lot of weight.

Now, I'm all for recovery, like good for you, you can enjoy life now blahblahblah. But for me and my corrupted mind I was like, "Ha! Fat bitch."

If you're still dealing with your eating disorder you probably know this thought. You know that it's your evil ED voice talking and you know that it's mean to think but... it's true.

So seeing her obviously gives me a giant confident boost hahaha I was already feeling confident because I know I'm the most daring and loud of the bunch (meaning that I'm going to get a lot of the attention especially if we go out-out), but NOWWWW due to a divine miracle, I am now the skinniest.

I AM THE SKINNIEST, TALLEST, BLONDEST, AND HAVE THE LONGEST HAIR!

If A didn't have some of the most gorgeous eyes I have ever seen, I'd be the prettiest too; but I judged her and I as at least a tie in that category. I've got some pretty eyes too so yeah LOL

Walking down the street with my possy, seductively smoking and purposely smiling in a certain flirtatious way for those around me to see, I felt good. I felt great.

I had finally become the girl little Mint had always dreamt of, I had made it. When did this happen? How can I be who I've always dreamed of and still feel uncomfortable with how I look? God, I need to actually believe myself when I think I'm looking good, because now I think it's actually true.

We get to the place and order. I get extra-hot wings obviously (it raises the fuck out of your metabolism, hot sauce has close to zero calories, and the spice will make me eat slower), A gets honey heat, and J gets salt+pepper. We all get Caesars (mine without the rim) and the night officially begins!!

J eats all of her wings like incredibly fast, and then she finishes the last 4 wings A had left on her plate. I'm laughing at this sight non-stop in my head. I'm such a fucking bitch, I'm sorry...

Since I'm leading the conversation, had a huge 3 ounce Caesar before I even met up with the girls, and had 2 double Caesar's during the meal, I only ended up eating 4 out of 12 wings.

I think, "YAAAAAAAS" because we all know I'm going to carry these fuckers with me all night just so I can eat them before bed. I'm fucking stoked.

But as I'm shoving the box into my tiny purse J offers to put them in her own bag since it's bigger. I think that's super sweet and I hand over my prized procession.

After drinking 2 triple margaritas at my favourite Mexican bar we head to the strippers because A loves them lol

This is where I think drunk Mint made a mistake...

I told J she could throw out the wings if she was sick of carrying them. I think my exact words were, "Do whatever with them, I don't fucking care."

WELL OBVIOUSLY I DO CARE AND ANYONE ELSE WHO KNOWS ME WOULD BE LIKE, "LOL sure, yeah, okay Mint. Like you're not going to be dreaming of these bad boys as soon as we leave then club."

Right? RIGHT? B knows. Fuck she'd probably stop me right there to eat them just so she could stop carrying around my fucking doggy bags hahaha

Unfortunately though, I'm not with B. I'm with a very hungry, ex-anorexic.

Long story short, once we get home from the club we walk into A's apartment and I'm the last one in. I take my shoes off, not paying attention because I'm fighting with BB over text when I look up... to a horror of the ages.

They're going to put this in the history books I swear, fucking mass destruction is what this is.

I look up, excited about eating all the rest of my fucking wings. I can imagine the ranch dripping off those saucy bastards. I can even imagine the smell of the Frank's RedHot.

Wait a second... I do smell Frank's RedHot!

I look up, and shock is the only way I can describe it.

THIS ANOREXIC FUCKING BITCH, ATE ALL 8 OF MY WINGS.

I REPEAT: SHE ATE NOT 1, NOT 2, NOT 3 OR 4 BUT ALL EIGHT FUCKING WINGS.

IN THE TIME IT TOOK US TO WALK THROUGH THE DOOR AND TAKE OFF OUR SHOES, SHE ATE ALL MY FUCKING WINGS.

AND I'M NOT BEING DRAMATIC HERE, SHE ATE THAT FAST AT DINNER TOO. SHE DEVOURED THEM!

I was fucking livid. I could've fucking strangled her.

I was with two soft-partier friends, drunk with no drugs, no after party or drunk boys trying to pick me up... my fucking BOYFRIEND JUST FUCKING BROKE UP WITH ME, AND I MADE OUT WITH A DUDE THAT DIDN'T EVEN TOUCH MY GODDAMN FUCKING BUTT.

Like no, no; not okay man.

Even though I said she could do whatever with them, at least fucking ask if anyone would like some after a long boring night. Like fuck.

It's almost been a week and I'm still fucking mad hahaha but don't worry friends, I'm going with A for more wings on Wednesday and J is gone to do this year of uni in Europe, so my wings are safe friends :) my wings are safe...

♥︎,

Mint! 💋