Lion Heart

I'm not having a good day :(

I found out that the courses I'm trying to register in for my second semester don't start until May. And one is worth 6 credits, so it doesn't end until December.

I emailed the instructors asking if I could start the courses earlier, and finish them earlier but they all said no.

So what are my options?

1. Try to find another distance learning institute that has courses that will transfer to my university (which isn't a very likely option)
2. Take the 3 credit courses in summer (which would be stupid because I need to be working full time in the summer to save money; also I need the courses done by June because of prereqs)
3. Don't take the courses at all and just take an extra course per semester when I get back (which would be dumb because I'm already taking 5 courses per semester when they only recommend taking 4)
4. Just accept the fact that I'll graduate a semester later (WHICH IS NOT EVEN AN OPTION WHY DID I EVEN INCLUDE IT IN THIS LIST)

Also, I'm already a day and a half behind with my school schedule. Want to know why? I got called into work yesterday.

I was supposed to decorate some cookies for an order the day before but the bakers fucked up with baking them and put salt instead of sugar, so I obviously couldn't decorate them. I was like that sucks because I already decorated a bunch but it's good because I don't have to do anymore!

WRONG.

They called me at around 11am and said I had to decorate the new ones because the order was due the same day. So I went in and didn't get my school work done T_T

I told them that I'm taking Friday off though. I already worked an extra 10 hours this week (I'm only supposed to be working 20 hours a week) so I think I'm good.

Today was also really bad because all the stress was making me want to vent to someone but I realized that I don't really have anyone. Well today anyway.

It's B's birthday/6 months/Valentine's day (obviously) so I didn't want to go complaining to her. The only other person I talk to about personal things is R. Have I mentioned him? Anyway, I didn't want to bother him today either because I figured he'd be with his girlfriend who doesn't like me lol

BUT APPARENTLY WE'RE CONNECTED AND HE TEXTED ME OUT OF THE BLUE AND IT MADE ME FEEL BETTER EVEN THOUGH HE DIDN'T REALLY HELP AT ALL.

It's just a nice feeling to be connected to someone, you know? You can feel your soul being held by theirs and vice versa.

The other people I normally talk to have apparently disappeared. No one will reply to me, and it's not a fun feeling. Today I just feel like I'm getting kicked in the face repeatedly.

I originally was excited to go to work today because W (the super cute cleaning boy) would be working. But when I went in he didn't share my enthusiasm. I asked him if he was tired (the last time we worked together he was tired and boring as fuck) but he said he wasn't and just kept on working.

This gave me time to just think. Think about everything that's stressing me out, again, and again, and again. I was drowning in it. And that's exactly why I can't be alone, or why it's bad to not be distracted.

I think, I sink, I drown.

After awhile he tried to start some conversation but I was too far gone. I wanted to cry so bad. Just melt into a puddle in the floor.

I wanted to cut so bad too. I instead settled with digging my nails into my palm.

When W left he looked kind of concerned, I don't think he's ever seen me quiet haha.

A quiet Mint is a thinking Mint is a sinking Mint is a drowning Mint.

Anyway, I'm tired of blogging right now. I'm fat, I'm sad, I'm lonely.

Vivre la vie.

♥,

Mint