Today I was thinking about suicide again, and about ripping my stomach open as usual, or like hacking away at my wrist.
Usually I try to ignore those thoughts, but when it gets too much, I usually end up cutting.
When I cut, the thoughts are numbed a bit, but are still there. So today I drank instead. I just wanted the thoughts to actually go away for a bit and I thought alcohol would silence them.
I think it worked, I'm not sure. I started drinking before work, thus I had to drive to work drunk, and then proceed to work drunk as well.
It wasn't the smartest idea, but honestly, who even gives a damn? Not me.
I'm home now and the thoughts are back. But it's finally night again where I'm allowed to be dead to the world for at least 8 hours. I love sleep.
- Mint.
No comments:
Post a Comment