It wasn't a fun night.
My fridge is so empty without all her food.
Last night I stared out the window for about an hour. No thoughts, just emptiness.
I eventually caved and bought some rum, got drunk, and sang sad songs off of my balcony; fell asleep in a puddle of my own tears again.
I learnt that my anti-anxiety pills make you drowsy when taken with alcohol, so that's why I've been passing out so hard lately. The doc doubled my dose.
I woke up this morning, alone. Numb. Sad. Alone. Lonely...
Breakfast at Tiffany's, that's exactly what I needed and that's exactly what I watched. It's kinda cool because it's Audrey Hepburn's birthday today so in a way I'm glad that I had the mean reds today.
I realized that I like watching movies about lonely people because it makes me feel good to know that other people are just as lonely as I am. Even if they're fictional, someone had to feel that loneliness to be able to write about it you know?
I also watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Somewhere yesterday and they're both amazing.
"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd"
That fucking spoke to me. It hit home, and it meant something. I'm going to get "eternal sunshine" tattoo'd on the side of my right hand. It's perfect.
Anyway, I'm sad and totally alone and pathetic and poetic. I feel like van Gogh.
A full heart but with no one to share it with. Maybe I should cut off my ear.
- Mint.
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