Second post of the day.

Imma just rant here for a second because I'm angry.

I don't understand people at all. I've already talked about this before many times, but fuck it, it's my blog, it's my mind, and I can talk about anything I fucking want on here.

I don't understand why people can't be straight up. If you're bothering them, why, the fuck can't people grow a pair and tell you? Or build a fucking bridge, bite your tongue, and deal until you get over it?

Like what the fuck. "Passive aggressive"? My fucking ass. I'm talking about Morgan.

I felt like she was mad at me, saw the opportunity to see into her mind because she left her fb logged in to my laptop, saw that she was fucking mad at me, confronted her, apologized, talked about it, gave her time and space, and then came back.

But her and fucking Dill are both still ignoring me. Morgan is blaming it like, "Oh, I take forever to get back to people!" YEAH FUCKING RIGHT. YOU'RE ALWAYS ON FB. YOU NEVER FORGET TO GET BACK TO DILL OR ANYONE ELSE.

BUT I GUESS THAT'S BECAUSE THEY'RE YOUR FRIENDS, AND I'M JUST PEOPLE.

Like, fuck. Sorry I passed out in the cab because of my fucking medication. Sorry that I thought that you made me pay for the cab both ways, BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING HAPPENED BEFORE.

Like fuckkkkk me. Don't just ignore me. That's the worst possible thing anyone could do to me, ignore me. I'm not fucking kidding here either. When you ignore a lonely person who lives off of human interaction, you kill them. It drives me crazier than I already am, and fucking hell, am I insane right now.

Everyone is slamming doors in my face right now. Every. Single. Person.

And it's almost ironic because, back in high school when my sanity was beginning to slip from my fingertips I thought, "Shh! Keep it a secret! If you let it out, people will swamp you with help that you don't want!"

And now, now that I'm actively looking and askinggggg for fucking help, no one is giving a damn. Everyone is turning a blind eye, ignoring me, closing the fucking door.

No one is ever on my side about anything either. Like, you don't even have to agree with what I'm saying, I really don't give a damn. Whenever I rant to someone all I want to hear is you saying, "Omg really? What the fuck! Noooo, what!?" I don't want to hear, "Well you know you do that a lot." or, "You had it coming." if I'm talking to you about a personal problem; about someone who means something to me, and who is slipping away due to a fault that I already knowwww I created, I don't need you to be playing the defence. I really don't because that kills me even more.

It reminds me of my mom when I was having problems in high school. It's just another fucking door in my face. I'm sorry, I just wanted to say something because it's eating me up you know. I just want to rant. Hell, when I wake up tomorrow I'll be fine.

I'm just really bothered about having no one here with me right now. I'm so angry about being the mess I am, and ruining all the relationships I create. I'm a fucking mess and deserve it, I know. I just don't want to go to people for an ear, and get the fucking mirror in return.

UGHHHH THAT'S NOT EVEN WHAT THIS POST IS ABOUT.

I JUST WISH I WASN'T FUCKED.

THAT WOULD SOLVE ALL MY PROBLEMS.

IF I WASN'T FUCKED I WOULDN'T MESS UP RELATIONSHIPS. I WOULDN'T BE ALONE RIGHT NOW. I WOULDN'T BE SO NEEDY. I WOULDN'T BE IN PEOPLE'S FACES ALL THE TIME. I WOULDN'T BE ME AND THAT'D JUST BE SO FUCKING GREAT GODDAMMIT I HATE MYSELF. SO FUCKING MUCH. GODDAMMIT. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT…

Get me out of hereeeeee, get me out of my head…….

please.

- Mint.