It's funny because this relationship started with needing you to know who I really was.
I needed you to understand what you'd be dealing with. I needed you to see my fear. I needed you to know, because I didn't want to hurt you.
It's just ironic that this is exactly what happened.
I made you watch Breakfast at Tiffany's because that's who I am, to a tee.
We watched it and I thought you understood, you said you understood, I believed you understood. So I breathed in, and took the leap down towards where you stood waiting for me.
I gave you my heart and tried my best not to fuck it up.
It's just funny because exactly a month later, our time together was over. It's funny because on the day that always brought me good luck (Friday the 13th), was the day you chose to shatter the parts of me that you had built up.
It's funny because it was classic Tiffany's. You were jealous and frustrated because I was still not wanting to admit that you had all of me; I was timid, still not believing people could truly belong to people (especially with what people had been telling me about you).
Except, instead of giving me the speech about love and how people can and do belong to people… followed by you looking for cat… followed by me racing out after you and then kissing because you had beat down the last wall I had standing… well, you let me throw that poor old slob without a name into the rain… and then you simply followed suit, without a single word.
They say if you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours; if not, it never was.
You told me that the time the two robins landed beside us. I took it as a sign, because I was trying to run away in fear, but the universe already knew I had come back to you.
I came back again and again. After every little bump in the road, I came back. I put my heart on the line for you to do as you pleased. I trusted, I stayed on your side, I readjusted myself; anything to make you happy. To me, that's love, your happiness is my happiness.
But I guess to you my happiness isn't your happiness. And balance in our relationship, that is not.
I'm scared that you're not going to come back. I'm scared that you were never mine. I'm scared that everything I chose to disbelieve was the actual truth.
That's why I'm so angry. I allowed this all to happen and you're right, I have to live with the consequences. I just pray that the consequences aren't locked into place. I hope you were mine…
I hope you come back…
I hope I had something, even for just a second.
- Mint.
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