Whispered notes, from the piano in the corner of the room.

1. I easily stayed within my 500 calorie limit today. It's odd how I can eat terribly for days without even thinking about calories, but as soon as I set a limit for myself my brain keeps screaming, "Too much! Too much, you fat ass! Stop eating!!!"

I  don't like a limit of 500. I feel much more comfortable with 300. But I know that as soon as I get into the swing of this, I'll cut it down to 300. I just have to remember that 500 is very little, and I will lose weight if I simply stick to this plan.

2. Last night my mom asked me what I ate for supper. And I couldn't think of anything. There was no evidence of food being used up, no dishes, no garbage, no nothing. How could I have been so stupid?

So I told her nothing. She was like, "Nothing!? What did you eat throughout the day then?"

Again, my brain couldn't think of anything, so I repeated my original answer of nothing. Saying that I was so full from eating badly the day before when she wouldn't stop looking at me funny.

She let it go, she knows not to make a fuss about food with me. I just thought it was funny that this is the first she was aware of me not eating for an entire day, when I've fasted for days around her quite frequently before.

3. Oh yeah, my dad took my brother out for supper tonight.

He drove an hour here and back, just to take my brother out for dinner, when I don't even remember the last time he's said something to me.

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Nina: My mom giving me diet pills is really nothing out of the ordinary haha I've been taking them and detox pills on and off since I was 14. I've lusted for thinness ever since I can remember, and when I was having a hard time with friends when I was 14, I just defaulted to needing to lose weight. It's a distraction from the world around me, and makes me happy when I see results. My mom of course likes me to be happy, so she let traded me the diet pills I asked for, for the smile she needed to see. I buy my own now, of course, but she doesn't know about it. If she did know though, she obviously wouldn't say anything.

Broken Wings: I'm flattered that you're taking part in my little diet plan! I wish you the best of luck! Just please stay safe, okay? ♥ I wish that I could be a good buddy and keep you motivated but I'm really afraid that I'd fail at keeping contact. Lately, I'm just too numb to focus on anything but my own priorities (aren't I selfish?). Stress has me so suffocated, so isolated, that simply writing about my day is a challenge! I mean, how many bloggers out there are so apathetic that they need to number their thoughts per post just to seem semi-organized and put together? I really do wish you well though! You'll be in my thoughts. c:

♥,

Mint.