Sunday, October 23, 2011

Remember me?

Hiiii,

Sorry I suck at posting...

It's just I have nothing to say really. I fail at life. How many times can I make a post about that, I mean seriously?

I'm fat, I have no control, I'm imperfect, I suck, I don't deserve life, I'm worthless... why can't I let myself disappear?

There's two demons in my head:

The one who makes me eat, because I'm "happy", and it's "normal"
And the one who knows that thin is true happiness.

Why can't I just tune the first one out? Others can do it. That's why people ARE SKINNY. If I had tuned that first voice out the moment I heard the second one, I would've been long gone by now.

I want to be good, I want to listen and to obey, but the fat ass voice just keeps getting in the way.

i don't want to be a failure...

no love today sorry, just Mint.

1 comment:

  1. love you starshine, you are writing stuff that i am writing all the time at the moment. I really know how you are feeling, we have a lot of self-hatred going on at the moment, non?

    we CAN do this, apparently we just need to start believing we can. I'll try, try with me?
    xxx

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