I just realized that I have absolutely no control.
I either starve, or binge. Starve or binge. There's nothing in between and I've been letting myself think that I have control.
pft.
So I'm going to try to force myself to have 500 calories a day because I know that I burn at least that amount at work, and can burn more easily by working out.
I'm going to fast at least once a week, and have an egg on toast once a week for breakfast when I have a day off with my mom.
I'm also going to try to have at least one complex carb per day so that hopefully, I'll stop binging. This carb will probably be oatmeal for breakfast during the week, and that toast I'll have once a week.
ALSO, this sounds stupid and petty and pathetic, BUT WHATEVER, here it goes: I'm going to put a stamp on my leg everyday that I do well, and a cut for everyday that I don't do well. I think I need to threaten myself...
And once I gain some control back, I'm going to go down to 300 calories a day and two days fasting a week and so on and so forth.
Thanks for everyone who's giving me support! I definitely don't deserve it at all :/
Hope you're all well! I'm fasting tomorrow!
Think thinnnn
♥,
Mint.
Good luck. I'm sure you'll do amazingly. That sounds like the sort of plan I need as well. I always attempt to fast then binge/purge and that's about it actually. My great weight loss plan, haha. I need some control in my life too.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with everything.
I think you need to dig a little deeper, honestly.
ReplyDeleteIt isn't that you lack control over how much you eat. It's the fact that your life feels so out of control that you're choosing to ignore it and instead fight a losing battle with your own body; a battle against nature. And that's one where you will never win no matter how much you cut or starve. It won't make those chaotic feelings disappear. Instead, they will always return in equal strength to each imposition of control.