Yesterday all I ate was chocolate.

Two pieces to be exact.

100 calories


I really didn't want to but my mom kept offering me things and I don't want her to get suspicious. She already thinks I have an eating disorder, I don't want her to act upon her thoughts and bring me to a doctor or something. That would just make things worse...

Anyway, as you've probably figured out, I haven't boughten my diet pills yet T_T

I was going to go this morning but I slept in and now I feel like it's too late. Plus, my heart hurt last night and was just another sign against them... BUT I JUST CAN'T STAND HOW FAT I AM.

It feels like I'm not losing any weight, that I just keep getting fatter. I really need my scale to keep my head in reality, but I'm way too scared to step on it, I mean WAY too scared.

I need my legs to be not as fat, my stomach to be not as bulgy, my red bracelet to be less tight, and my hips less wide before I can even THINK of stepping on it.

if i were to step on it now, i'd break it...


Ugh, I'm going crazy again. Don't mind me, I'm just falling down the rabbit hole...

hopefully this time, it's to stay.


♥,

Mint.