Hi thereeee,
Sorry I've been gone for awhile. I don't really have an excuse, so whatever.
I've been keeping at 500 calories and I've also been going down in weight. Yaaaaay.
But everyday I feel like I'm cheating because I'm eating. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I'm eating cereals, AND apples! Sometimes if I know I won't make 500 calories because my morning's been too busy to eat, I take TWO things for lunch at work.
I feel like I'm being bad, like I'm guilty. I don't deserve this much food on a regular basis! I don't deserve food when I'm aspiring to be thinnnnn.
It's so stupid though because when I binge it's like, shit. But when I eat the foods I've planned to eat during the day it's like,
OMGOMGOMGOMGNONONONONOOMGOMGOMGOMGFATFATFATFATFAT
My life doesn't make sense.
Also, I hate being a part of society, lol. I hate going to work, and getting close to people, because when they go for five days off (or even two days off!) I fucking miss them, and feel so lonely even though there are still other people at my work place that I like. I feel so fragile.
I saw my two best friends for the first time since March the other day. It was fun, but when I came home I felt terrible. They're going to leave. They're going back to the city to go to university together, and they have all these awesome plans and all these awesome memories.
I hate it.
That's why I don't want to see anyone. It just hurts waaay too much.
kill me now.
Think thin!
♥,
Mint.
I know exactly how you feel about people. my best friend goes to university in a different state and I haven't seen herm since march. it's hard to let people in because I feel like they'll leave. But you can't be alone forever. stay strong!XOX
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