One year ago today.

Everything's becoming distorted again. Up is down and down is up. The thoughts are back, taking control. I feel it, the change.
Do you know what I mean?  The feeling of plummeting back into Wonderland? The feeling of an escape.
I can breathe now.
I feel good. Oh so terribly good.

Quoted from a post I made one year ago today basically.

I remember that day. I remember every day that I've written down.

I don't know if it's a gift or a curse really...

Sorry about back tracking all the time, but it's super interesting to see where I was.

Two years ago, I was still doing alright. I hadn't started cutting yet, and I was losing weight steadily. I was at about 136 pounds.

I've got to get back down there, but my weight is so fucking stable. I can eat everything, and I wake up the next morning weighing the same amount I would've weighed if I had fasted and vice versa.

My mom is coming for a visit tomorrow, and leaving Thursday night. So I'm thinking that I'll do a proper fast, starting Friday morning, ending Monday morning. Just to see what happens, to see if I can still do a proper fast.

I need to lose weight fast because I want to go out, and I want to look like a model, and be fashionable, and comfortable, and fucking hot.

I love working at the clothing store, and I love how they legit pick cute girls to work there. Because that means that I'm apparently cute. I also love wearing my heels because I feel hot. So I've made the decision that when I get paid, and have enough money to buy things again, I'm getting another pair of boots, probably knee high. Probably with a taller heel. I'm also going to buy countless fashion magazines.

This one girl at my work (she looks like a fucking model and I decided that we're going to be best friends) and I are going out on Thursday and I'm excitedddd! She's from here so she said she'd, "take me under her wing" LOL I love her.

ALSO, I made it through being a rush and now I got into being a pledge!! So basically I'm in the sorority. Like, the only way I can get kicked out now is if I don't get my volunteer hours in! It's cool to think that I'm basically in a sorority because anyone who doesn't know about the sorority, thinks about the stereotypes, and I love the stereotypes quite frankly. I've always wanted to be in a cool clique-like thing. Where others are outsiders, and you're superior. I wanted to be a plastic from Mean Girls. AND I STILL DO.

So if people think I'm cool because I'm in a sorority, IMMA FUCKING LET THEM THINK IT. BECAUSE THAT'S COOL AS FUCK, AM I RIGHT?

I think that's all I had to catch you up on really.

School sucks, but I love being busy, so so so sooooo much. I like racing here and racing there. It's fun!

- Mint.