Anxiety continued...

Omgggg I can't shake this anxietyyyy.

Earlier it started building and getting worse again so I decided to go for a drive.

I really needed to talk to someone but no one was available so I just drove by myself. Eventually I texted one of the pledges (they're sisters now since the pledge period finished today) to see if she wanted to drive around with me, but she was with our other pledge friend's house so she invited me there.

I decided to go just because I really wanted someone to talk to.

Not to talk about my problems, just... conversation.

So that helped a bit.

But now I'm back in my apartment. Back in my room. And the anxiety is back as well.

I hate it.

I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean reds? 

Paul Varjak: The mean reds, you mean like the blues? 

Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling? 

Paul Varjak: Sure. 

Holly Golightly: Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany's. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that'd make me feel like Tiffany's, then - then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name! 

This is why I watch Breakfast at Tiffany's. It's because I relate to it so much. No, I'm not a call girl but I am lost as fuck. And I'm a no-name slob.

I try to act like everything is fine, and like I know exactly what I'm doing and where I'm going but I'm lost and I'm scared, and I need a place like Tiffany's to get rid of these mean reds.

I'm tired of being scareddddd...

- Mint.