I did not eat the bread.

So this morning, I weighed myself.

I'm not saying the number because it's too high, but I am pleased to say that it's not near my highest :)

My head messes with me so much, it's good to have my scale back to avoid insanity.

I woke up to about two feet of snow and spent two hours shoveling the driveway. I've never had any upper body strength so it was brutal. But worth it, because I worked out without having to force myself.

Also, even though today was supposed to be a "negative-calorie food only day", I changed it to a soup day because there's literally no vegetables in the fridge/anywhere (my mom and I are going grocery shopping on Thursday so I'll get everything I need then).

Today, for the most part, was good. I worked out, I ate soup, I didn't cheat...

BUT, it sucked for many reasons:

1. I'm fat.
2. Shoveling the drive took all the energy out of me and I accomplished nothing else (another day behind in school).
3. It feels like I've been fasting for a month when I actually had soup, anddddd it's been like only a day. I just recently fasted for about two weeks straight without ever feeling hungry. What the actual fuck?
4. I was so pissed by the end of the day, I wanted to cut so bad. I wanted to hack my arm to shreds. But everyone was around... I almost did it without thinking while I cut the loaf of bread I made for everyone, but then there'd be blood on the knife... then blood on the bread... the bread... it smelt so good...

Fuck me. I'm weak.

Weak fat fuck.

Tomorrow is my zero-calorie fast for the week. Hopefully I feel happier by the end of it. Hopefully I lose some of this weight.

5 pound intervals, that's all, simple.

- Mint.