I got my hair done yesterday and she cut off sooooo much. And I told her not to. And she made the bottom blunt. And I SPECIFICALLY TOLD HER NOT TO.
And I want to cry because my hair doesn't grow very fast, it just falls out, that's all it does.
I don't care if my ends look gross, FYI THEY DIDN'T. I just want the inch and a half, that took 4 months to produce, BACK.
I wanna cry I wanna cry I wanna cryyyyy.
I wish I didn't get front bangs again. I like my old hair. I liked it last year when I had short layers and full side-swept choppy bangs.
Ugh. Thank god I have my hat.
To me, my hat is like being able to wear my pjs outside, or bring my teddy bear everywhere with me. It's a comfortable security.
Yesterday, after the hair cut (so about 1), I came home and I don't even know what I did until 6. But once 6 came, and it was pitch black outside. I decided to go to sleep.
It took a little while to fall asleep, and I did wake up a couple times between then and morning, but I ended up sleeping until 10 am.
And I'm still fucking tired, and empty and I want to go home.
And once I go home, I want to walk. For years.
I want to walk and smoke and walk and smoke and walk and smoke, until I get lost and I die.
... get lost and die get lost and die get lost and die and die and die die die...
Also, I've been crying lately. Which is odd, because I rarely get to cry now, tears just don't come. Which is even more odd because I'm constantly on the edge of tears.
I usually cry while trying to fall asleep. I think I cry because of the emptiness and the hopelessness I feel is life. I don't really know.
But it's an odd cry. Very concentrated. I'll have about 6 MASSIVE tears in total. And each tear comes with a monstrous sob.
After about a minute and a half, my crying is over. And I usually feel like I've cried out all the water my body contained, and my head pounds with agreement.
It's a weird cry for sure.
I don't know what I'm going to do about life.
I hate it.
- Mint.
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