My heart is dripping with venom and spite.

Feeling reallllll lonely right now.

Real lonely, real sad, real depressed, real hopeless.

Real fat too, fuck, the holidays and food, it's so goddamn annoying, and I'm so goddamn annoying too because I fucking eat it all.

I wish life was like a video game; where you can just turn it off when you're satisfied with your progress, or frustrated at how idiotic it is.

Fucking hate life. If it wasn't so hard to get out of, and so dramatic I'd have left longgggg ago.

Did I ever mention the girl from my town that died on November long weekend while driving back to school?

If not, she was a year younger than me, went to the same university as me, and was supposed to come home with me that weekend.

I didn't go with her or vice versa because I didn't think I'd have that weekend off, buttttt I did.

It's an odd thought, how close I could've been to death, and how someone I actually knew, is now dead. She's the first person that I personally know to have died.

But I handle death differently than most. I don't feel sad for the person who's gone really, I just feel like, "Oh, she's gone... huh."

Anyway, when she died my town made this huge deal about how much they loved her and missed her and it's so fake and overdone that it's sickening.

Some people are still going on about it. But it's like, if you weren't really fucking close with her, or family, get the fuck over it. People die all the time. It's part of life. She wasn't really happy anyway.

I wish I had died instead. That would've been a blessing for sure. Ya, it's selfish because AH! What about my family!? What about B?! But I'm not dead, so get over yourself.

If I die young though, and people in this goddamn town hear about it, I will be so fucking pissed if they try to say how tragic it was, or how much they'll miss me, or what a delight I was to have around.

I will personally haunt every fake fucker that spits transparent condolences onto my grave; onto my fucking facebook wall. My face would be an eternal sneer from all the disgust I'd be a witness to.

It's sick how people glorify the dead, when they don't give a shit for the living.

Anyway. To sum: I'm lonely and sad and wanna be dead.

- Mint.