The Catcher in the Rye.

B don't read this post until you read this book because I'm lending you this book to read and I don't want to spoil it for you.

I bought The Catcher in the Rye before flying home and began reading it on the flight to Alberta.

The reason I bought is book is because I saw a quote from it on tumblr:

"Anyway, I kept walking and walking up Fifth Avenue, without any tie on or anything. Then all of a sudden, something very spooky started happening. Every time I came to the end of a block and stepped off the goddam curb, I had this feeling that I'd never get to the other side of the street. I thought I'd just go down, down, down, and nobody'd ever see me again."

 I read this quote and thought to myself, "Well there's a cynical book if I ever did see one! And it's set in New York too!" I had to read it. So I put it on my list of books to read that I never end up reading (but am actually beginning to read).

I like books that have a hazy feeling, you know? A numb depression. A book that showcases what the world really is. How utterly sad and hopeless this world it.

I like it. It's like reading a rainy day.

Anyway, I bought it because I was scared about my flight. I mentioned the anxiety I was feeling about the whole airport/flying experience on here, and it was a real thing. I figured maybe a book would distract me. Especially since lately I've been so against using my phone or watching tv and things like that. Lately I've been wanting to look up, and be aware of my surroundings. I want to stop being absorbed by a screen.

I know a book absorbs you just the same, but you have to admit, it's a different type of absorption.

Anyway, I got this book, see? And it's a wonderful book.

I love how it's written. The first-person narration, I love it! I love how he swears (at parts it honestly could've been me writing it), and how negative he is.

But around the part where he's at the bar with old Luce, and Luce leaves even though Holden asks him to stay (he asks everyone to stay), and then Holden gets so drunk he can't see straight, is when I realized, oh no. This is another Perks.

With each sentence after, my heart broke a little and a little more, waiting to see how this bitterly sad tale would end.

By that time I had tied his brother's death and his classmate's death and Holden's hand and everything together, so I knew that his mind wasn't all sorted. I knew that he was struggling. I knew it was another fucking, Perks.

The part of the book where it explains the title, killed me. My heart ached.

The part where he gave his red hunting hat to his sister; the part where he saw "fuck you" in the school, in the school again, and at the museum; the part where Phoebe wanted to go with him; the part where they walked to the zoo on different sides of the sidewalk; the part where Phoebe rode the carousel; the part where she road it again; the part where she made Holden where his hat... it all killed me.

The second last chapter... it did me in really.

So now I'm here, depressed about the world again. Because it's all really hopeless. And innocence is being taken too young. And bad things happen to good people. And everyone's a phoney and why won't anyone just share a drink with Holden!?

Ughhhh, this book broke me and I feel sick from it.

I went on tumblr to see what the community thought of the book and SOO many people hated it! They hated Holden, they hated his goddamn hat, they just hated it. And I want to slap them! It's like someone making fun of one of your friends, it's like, do you WANT a black eye?

Fuck, this book man. Written in 1951, and still real as hell.

That kills me.

- Mint.