Fuck.

I fucking knew it...

I fucking knew it!!

143.6

FUCKING HELL.

I knew I wouldn't be in the 130's today... but I thought a prayer and a leg jiggle would get me there.

pathetic.

And NOW, I have to go to work and show off how disgusting I am to everyone who comes into the store. They'll get to see how greedy I am, how tight my pants are, how thick my arms are.

disgusting.

I am not eating today and that's final! If I can get out of eating tomorrow too I'll do that. I don't want another bite to pass these lips, not until I'm in the 130's again. AND I'm going to work out every day for at least half an hour. Once I start eating again I'll work out until I've burnt off everything I've eaten (good reason not to binge hey?), and then after thaaaat... I'll work out until I disappear...

fat.

Ugh. I hate myself! I hate how fat I am! I hate how greedy and selfish I am! I'm a monster, I don't even look like a human being. I'm just some kind of huge disgusting creature who eats villages and has no control.

worthless.

I don't want to be here. I don't want to be a creature in an uncontrolled world... I want magic, I want weightlessness, I want bones.

monster.

Bones are beautiful, and I won't stop until I find them. I want my body to be empty inside and out. I want to be tragically beautiful, I want to have strength, control, power...

selfish.

and she promises me all of that, and more...

"hunger hurts, but starving works"

♥, Mint.