Oh Wouuuuuldn't it be Loverly.

140.9 this morning.

Thank fucking God. Yesterday was ridiculously stupid all 'round.

Work was terrible. Grumpy people left, right and centre all deciding to come through my till. Why are they attracted to me? I don't know.

So after work I bought a box of peanut butter granola bars... 150 cal each. I ate 3.

THEN, I had to pick up my mom from work but she wasn't quite finished. So I ate a few saltines and her secretary gave me a danish to eat. I ate it, because I'm weak. 350 cal...

After thaaat, for some strange reason I ate half a protein bar. Why? I have no fucking idea, it was disgusting and didn't even taste like peanut butter. 125 cal.

So it's safe to say I ate about 1,000 cal in about 20 minutes max. -.-

Once I got home I burnt 600 cal again so I felt a bit better, and have been rewarded with, not pound gain, not pound "reoccurrence", but pound loss.

Thank fucking God. -0.4 pounds is good with me hahaha

Today has to be better.

Anyway, last night I was laying in bed and couldn't sleep when suddenly I thought about when my last period was. And I'm pretty sure it was in the beginning of June. Then I thought, Hey! Isn't that part of the criteria of being anorexic? So, I googled lol

• Refusal to maintain body weight at or above a minimally normal weight for age and height: Weight loss leading to maintenance of body weight <85% of that expected or failure to make expected weight gain during period of growth, leading to body weight less than 85% of that expected.
• Intense fear of gaining weight or becoming fat, even though under weight.
• Disturbance in the way one's body weight or shape are experienced, undue influence of body weight or shape on self evaluation, or denial of the seriousness of the current low body weight.
• Amenorrhea (at least three consecutive cycles) in postmenarchal girls and women. Amenorrhea is defined as periods occurring only following hormone (e.g., estrogen) administration

Click here if you want to explore the site!

So there we go! I'm still in the eating disorder world of limbo (EDNOS), but at least I've got something checked off my list. All that's stopping me now is about 25 pounds of disgusting fat, and then I'll be something. I'll have a beautiful label, and have everything my heart desires.

control, perfection, happiness, beauty, power, strength, thinness...

Just 25 fucking pounds.

Thin thin ladies!!

♥, Mint.