Look both ways.

As much as I like cars, I wish they didn't exist because then I wouldn't be as afraid to go walking around.

Cars are so big and fast and people are in them, looking around… Seeing how slow I'm going, seeing how weird I walk. Getting mad at me for cutting them off, regretting letting me cross.

I want to apply to the IGA across the street because I know the bakery is hiring.

But…

I don't want to drive to work if I get that job because it's so close and that'd honestly be so silly.

So I'd have to walk.

I'd have to cross the street, and it's such a busy one.

What if I have to wait at the crosswalk because I couldn't get an opportunity to j-walk when there were no cars?

Omg that would be so bad… I hate waiting. It's the worst thing. I just automatically feel pressure and anxiety build quicker and quicker, ready to burst. Waiting at red lights in my car even is terrible.

If anyone wonders why I speed or walk fast, it's because I'm trying to run away from everything and everyone because I can't breathe with people seeing me stand in one place.

I hate it. Fuck, I hate anxiety.

It's getting so much worseeeee.

I bought groceries though finally, so that's good.

- Mint.