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I finally made it to the bakery!

I woke up at 6 this morning planning on going down there asap, so that downtown wouldn't be busy and to show that I was eager.

But I didn't get out of bed until 6:40… Didn't get out the door until 7:30.

I was so nervous, even while getting ready I was like, whatever, I don't need to do this, I don't need to work there, it's fine.

BUT, I got my ass out the door and drove down there. Got scared, drove around the whole city, was going to go home, got mad at myself, drove back down, found a parking spot, walked in.

8:30.

But the manager wasn't in until 9 I guess so I left because I was scared to sit there for half an hour. But I'm fine with that because I went and picked up Subway and ate the cookies while driving back to the bakery. They were so soft and I was so proud of myself.

I got back down, panicked because I couldn't find a parking spot, looped around, calmed down, parked, walked in again.

I had to wait because the lady basically just got in when I did, so I sat at the bar and read a newspaper article on why they should lower tobacco prices.

I met the lady, told her what a terrible person I was for not showing up, but how I really wanted to work there. She took my resume, seemed impressed because I could basically help out in any part of the bakery so hopefully I get a call to come back. And then I'll go back, and not be scared.

If I don't get that job, I'm going to apply to other restaurants as a line cook or prep cook. Because, lately, my mind has been wanting to cook, work with food. I'm not too sure whether or not it's because I'm reading Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain, but I'm not going to fight it.

Working with food is fun, and fast paced. And I think I like that in a job. Plus it's a trade, and once I get in at one place, I could get in other places, anywhere really.

Another thing, I'm breaking my 10 year vegetarianism today. This past week I've been craving like, shrimp and cocktail sauce, and like, a spider sushi roll. Which is fucking weird because I've never in my life tasted either.

But as this craving was going on, and as I was realizing that I haven't even tried so many food I started having like an existential crisis.

I've never even tried so many things! It's like not being able to see certain colours! How is that living? Not experiencing, how is that living?

I've spoken to a few of my friends about this, and to my parents too and everyone's like, "Don't try it. Think of the lives you're saving! You don't need meat, it's not worth it!"

Which I feel is an odd response. Because, when you're a vegetarian and people find out, they usually flip. "You're a vegetarian? I would never be able to do that. You know plants are living too right? So you're killing shit anyway? You know that it's not healthy for you to not have meat right? Right? Right? Right!?" So when I'm considering tasting some fucking fish, and people are advising me against it, I just want to fucking slap them. Stop fucking telling me what to do! I mean, fuck, get over yourselves. I'm not going to suddenly become a carnivore, and even if I do, what of it?

How does what I eat affect you in anyway? Whenever deciding what restaurant to go to, people make such a big fucking deal, "Oh wait, can you eat anything there?"

YES. YES I CAN. I CAN EAT ANYTHING ANYWHERE, IT'S NOT HARD FOR ME TO SAY, "THAI CHICKEN SALAD, NO CHICKEN, THANKS" WHERE IT TAKES YOUUUU YEARS TO FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU WANT.

GET OVER YOURSELVES OMNIVORES.

Anyway, I'm going for sushi today, and I'm going to taste crab. And hell, if I want to try something else with meat in it in the future, I just fucking might.

I might become a goddamn chef. I just might. I just might taste every fucking thing I can get my hands on, just to know what it's like.

Who knows what I'll do? I'm fucking wilddd bitch.

- Mint.