Everything is always my fault. That's why arguments with my mom are pointless.
You just have to wait for her to shut up.
Sure she'll get mad when you don't say anything, but she'll get madder if you do say something so it's best to stay quiet.
Because if you say something it's usually to defend yourself, and WHY ARE YOU DEFENDING YOURSELF? YOU'RE WRONG. W-R-O-N-G, WRONG.
If you cry you're being immature, and are doing it on purpose. So don't cry, it's pathetic. You're pathetic.
Once she's ripped you all apart, jabbed her knife into every little insecurity, ripped open your mind and thrown all of your negative thoughts back towards you, she'll be done.
She'll get up because she can't even look at you anymore, but who blames her? Look how disgusting you are; how petty, greedy, selfish, spoilt, ungrateful, and undeserving you are.
What a shame, what a disgrace. She can't even stay in your presence any longer, it's too frustrating to see what a disappointment you are.
She'll get up, and leave. As if you're the one who just bitched her out. She's so offended by something you must have said. How could you be so mean, to the only person who remotely cares about your existence?
What a disgrace.
She'll get up, and leave. And you will sit and stay.
Staring at your foot, biting your lip once again.
Don't cry you pathetic worth of space. Don't you dare fucking cry. You don't deserve to fucking cry. You caused this, this is your life. You don't get to cry.
You will sit and stay, staring at your shattered soul. It's pointless to pick up the pieces, because the shadows have already consumed them, and who wants a toxic soul?
You will sit, and stay. Waiting for time to go by. Waiting for the sun to go down, and the moon to come up. You will wait for drowsiness to fall upon you, and the darkness to wrap you up.
But tomorrow will come, and it won't be better.
Because it doesn't get better, because you won't make it better.
Because you don't want it to be better, because you don't care if it's better.
You're life is a waiting game, and time just won't move fast enough.
- Mint.
It's okay to cry it's necessary sweetheart I haesuch issues with this too, my dad treated me exactly the way your mum is you in terms of manipulation and guilt and emotional regulation - cry cry cry cry fight back it just gets worse otherwise, please let yourself show emotion, life is long and hard, don't let it get more destructive than it already has sweetheart, there is something you can do about it, you're not wrong, she doesn't have control over you, you can calmly explain yourself and let yourself cry. I love you, always and forever, to the moon and back xxx
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