Do you believe in the zodiac?

I didn't weigh myself today because I ate chocolate yesterday, and I'm not weighing myself tomorrow because I had peanut butter, and am now currently eating cheese.

BECAUSE I AM SO MAD RIGHT NOW.

I HATE PEOPLE SO FUCKING MUCH.

Let me tell you why:

First off, I believe in the zodiac like crazy, because everyone I come into contact with just exudes the qualities of their sign. And the person I know who shows their traits the most is me.

I'm a leo. Basically the best sign out there fuckers. A mother fucking lion, king of the jungle. I'm the best, the greatest, you'll ever meet.

There's three types of leos depending on when their birthday is. I was born on August 13th, which means that I'm the leoiest leo out there; I'm fucking lucky as hell, and I love to travel.

The leo is the fieriest of all fire signs. Why? Because we're born in the summer, and because our planet isn't even a planet. IT'S THE SUN. A GLOWING ORB OF FIREEEEEE BITCHES.

So yes, one can say I have a very fiery personality. It doesn't help either that I'm Italian.

People born under this sign are (in a quick nutshell) very proud, competitive, take things personally, are very stubborn, and dramatic. We wear our hearts on our sleeve, and don't even try to hide it. We live passionately, and without passion, we are nothing.

So sometimes dealing with flat, tame, earth signs (Pumpkin= capricorn), tempers flare.

Pumpkin is soooo flat that it comes across soooo rude. I want to slap her so often.

"Woah, calm down" "You're predictable" "No, I'd say that I'm the fiery one here"

Just no, stop.

She doesn't even realize how mad these things make me. And how rude they make her sound. She also does this thing where SHE DOESN'T TELL YOU WHAT SHE MEANS, SHE JUST MAKES YOU GUESS AND THEN WHEN YOU GUESS WRONG SHE MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT.

LIKE SORRY THAT I CAN'T WORK MY WAY INTO YOUR IDIOTIC HEAD PUMPKIN, SORRY.

Her boy is a leo it turns out. Born just two days before me. So I was telling her how the relationship might play out, and she just kept making it seem like she didn't want to move forward with him. But of course she wouldn't say anything so it was really just me guessing the entire time.

First he was drinking too much because he was single. So I said everyone has their demons and that relationships benefit both parties, and most guys go hard when they're single anyway.

And then no, drinking was fine, it was that she was afraid of being in a relationship. So I told her maybe she should be honest with him and say that you don't want to rush into things. Because leos are forceful and romantic, so if she just doesn't deny all the relationship stuff he keeps bringing up (which is what she's currently doing), she's just fucking playing him.

And then no, noo, she wants to see where it goes. So I said, well alright still be honest with him though because if you don't deny anything, and he goes for it, but you for some reason aren't into it, he'll get frustrated AS A LEO WILL DO, and probably just give up.

But no, noooo she wants him to be forceful! She needs that!

AND OMG WE'VE GONE IN A CIRCLE.

I'm still sooo mad, and this started two hours ago.

TO ALL YOU FUCKING MYSTERIOUS PEOPLE OUT THERE: WE CAN'T FUCKING GUESS WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. WHEN WE TRY TO FUCKING HELP YOU OUT BECAUSE YOU COME TO US WITH PROBLEMS, DON'T JUST FUCKING DISMISS US AFTER AWHILE BECAUSE WE CAN'T UNDERSTAND WTF YOUR ISSUE IS.

IF YOU COME TO ME WITH A PROBLEM, HOW ABOUT YOU JUST FUCKING TELL ME WHAT IT IS, HMM? LET'S GET TO THE CORE OF IT SO THAT I DON'T END UP WANTING TO STAB INTO THE CORE OF YOU.

GOD DAMN IT.

AND OMG VIRGOS? WHAT'S THEIR ISSUE? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT PASSION IS? CAN I SEE YOU GET EXCITED ABOUT ONE THING EVER? IF YOU LIKE ME WILL YOU PLEASE SHOW IT? MAYBE? NO? ALRIGHT, WELL FUCK YOU.

I just wish that people weren't so afraid of being honest. And like, blunt. This is how people miss out on opportunities, this is how confusion arises, and this is how YOU ANGER A FUCKING LEO.

- Mint.