This is how I feel right now, but if you ask me about it in 5 minutes I'll probably feel completely different about the subject.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like without my depression.

Two possible ways to rid yourself of depression is to simply take a little pill and suddenly have motivation and a love of life, or to talk to someone who will help you change your "outlook".

I feel like I'd rather be unhappy and look at the world for what it is, than to be happy and see the world for what it isn't.

That isn't necessarily a miserable way to live, and I don't feel like it's moping in a pool of sadness and hatred. I feel like it's comparable to the affects of alcohol. I'd rather be sober and aware, than drunk and falsely confident. You know?

I feel like taking a happy pill would change who I am because I feel like depression is a part of me now, and I honestly don't think that's a bad thing.

Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely not romanticizing depression in any way. I'm just saying that I feel like this life just isn't meant for my soul; like how one can't force themselves to like cauliflower. It's a good thing to understand yourself, and to know who you are.

I think that the depression also helps me look at things in clearer light as well. Yeah, some would say that I'm missing out, but why would it matter if I'm missing out, if I don't really want it anyway? Why try something out if the possible positives of the situation aren't even that pleasing to me? Depression might focus on negatives but it helps me to avoid additional ones at the same time.

I feel like speaking to a professional is only worth your time if you truly want their help, and if you truly want to change your perception of the world. Like many mental illnesses there are at least two ways they can latch on to you. They can come for only a brief period (some patients with anorexia go hard, and recover fully, never to relapse), yet others seem to be born with their illness, and once it comes out of hiding it's incredibly hard to become free from its grasp.

The latter way agrees with my earlier statement of me saying how I feel like the depression is a part of me. Just like personality disorders, these mental illnesses are nearly impossible to treat because, they literally are apart of you. Not saying that you are your illness, it's just one of your characteristics. You can be a mean person, but are you actually mean? Entirely? I doubt it.

So is my depression necessarily a bad thing? I don't think it is. Most times it can be annoying, but in general I think it's useful and helps me to see clearly. It makes me not get attached to life while other people are fighting against the clock constantly to try to see everything and do everything. Did you know that death is the most common fear in humans? I don't know if that's true or not (I heard it on Seinfeld) but I asked around and people really are afraid of it! I think that's really odd.

People should just be. Life is life. You live and then you die, that's it.

One should never fear time, because things always happen for a reason. Figure out why, and learn from it.

- Mint.