I only lost 0.7 lbs yesterday but I'm okay with it. It's a loss, not a gain. If I gained, the world would've ended. If I get any fatter, I won't be able to fit anything, I'd fall through the Earth into the pits of hell. I'd get kicked out though because the smell of my fat burning would piss everyone off.
i don't belong here.
My thoughts have been going 'round and 'round like a merry-go-round. I think of the tastes of all the things I love. The lighting of when I remember eating it, the smells, the smiles.
If I'm thin I could eat that stuff again. I could be happy, just like before.
But then my thoughts are interrupted by the voice, "You can't eat it because you won't stop. You can't eat it because you'll become even more disgusting. You can't eat, you can't eat, you can't eat. Food isn't what makes you happy anyway, it's love. Is food love? No. You don't even deserve love you fat cow. If you eat you'll feel hungry again, do you want that? The embarrassing tummy growl? If you eat you'll get your period again. Do you want blood pouring out of you like some sick monster? No. If you eat, you will feel. You will feel regret, hatred. You will die and no one will care. No one will go to your funeral because your fat fills the room. Don't eat."
when will this ride end?
Today for supper I'm having:
- a romaine heart with vinegar (30 cals)
**tip: I only put vinegar on my salad because it has no calories and has the same amount of flavour as a store bought dressing, or if you add fatty fat oil to it. Just saying. HOWEVER, stay away from sugary vinegars like balsamic because, well because they're sugary lol.
Right now I'm listening to "Avril 14th" by Aphex Twin on repeat. I love this song, it's so beautiful...
Think thin beauties xoxo
♥, Mint.
I always forget how immensely useful vinegar is. I sometimes do mustard, too-- not quite as low-calorie, but still better than salad dressing and more versatile.
ReplyDeleteI love that voice in my head, when it... (she)... comes back. Congratulations on your loss.