Did my fasttt!

Ended with a mini binge because I was baking all day (my mom still doesn't know that I'm vegan and she doesn't know either that I'm feeding her vegan foods that she actually likes, MUAHAHAHA) but that's okay, it wasn't that bad.

I'm fasting again today, then eating only apples and bananas tomorrow, and then fasting Wednesday-Friday because my mom is going to a conference and won't be around.

I'm glad that I'm back into fasting. It's a nice empty feeling, am I right?

On another note, I was freaking out last night again. Thinking about how every possible life choice is pointless, pointless, pointless.

I can't go back to actual uni next year. I just can't. I don't want to be back there, alone. Seeing the people I saw last year. I just can't face the happy smiles by myself.

But I can't transfer to the uni where my hometown friends are either because I'm not the same person anymore. Plus, they have new friends and love life and have goals and ambitions and blah blah blah.

Also, I can't imagine living away from my mom again. She's my rock. And if I feel so lost when I'm around her, I'll only go downhill without.

I'm still really behind in all my courses but my brain won't work. It doesn't care enough to focus.

fuck fuck fuck.

Oh, and my brother's wedding? Next August. I need to look good FAST. The bride-to-be's sister is super skinny, and happy, and lovely. And I don't want to look like a beached whale. I need to represent my family, and show that WE ARE AWESOME. lol, my priorities.

I should get to work.

Think thin.

♥,

Mint.